haunted

[music_junkie]

Again - again and again and again... I ride this cycle out and I wind up back here.

I want to die. Not figuratively, or theoretically... I want death. I want the end. I want the finality, the totality, the utter and complete freedom that comes with such violence, such destruction, and such absolute abandon.

And these feelings - these thoughts... They creep up, they grow, and suddenly, they are overwhelming. I cannot for the life of me manage to fight them much longer... It seems they grow stronger with every passing second.

I dont have any fantasies about death or suicide - I know it is selfish, and permanent, and probably irrational on some level... But oh my god...

I want it.

 

[fromthatshow]

Most of us can sympathize with you music junkie.
Do you have a therapist at the moment? Why are you feeling suicidal?

I wouldn't say that it's selfish or permanent, irrational maybe, but when you're feeling the intensity of those feelings it's hard to think about anything else :hug:

 

[music_junkie]

I just cant... I can feel myself slipping into something like a black hole, and I dont know what to do about it.