I'm waiting for my sister to go to bed so I can cut myself. I don't even know why. Been 5 months since my last 'incident', but lately I've just been feeling it building again. I'm so fucked up and I don't know why. There's nothing that's even bothering me and things in my life have improved so much, but I have these self destructive urges. It's like I don't want to be happy. I don't know.