Have been thinking about committing.......

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by gothicmoon, Dec 17, 2010.

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  1. gothicmoon

    gothicmoon Member

    ....myself to a psych hospital based on what i have described below, but im not sure if i would get accepted. here are the details, so give me your honest opinions ok, oh, and please do not be rude.....

    im always having frequent panic attacks, to the point i snap at people around me or on the internet. sometimes my depression boils into rage either because of being bullied, or no reason at all. im depressed like 90% of my life, no friends, i dont go anywhere or do anything, im just....miserable and isolated. i have been doing hypnotherapy for 3 years, and do not wish to stop, because its my only form of comfort besides seeing my boyfriend. besides, my deepest passion in life is practicing hypnosis, and i hope to one day become a hypnotherapist. i find it very rewarding when i am able to help someone with overcoming issues using the art of hypnosis, and have been working towards that career goal.
    but even still many of the rages i have are uncontrollable, so sometimes i resort to cutting, and NOT because im suicidal, but i only do it because it numbs the pain im feeling internally, even though its temporary. i am well aware of the dangers in self-harm of this form and i educate myself daily, such as the permanent scarring. i also know this from personal experience. and im still trying to stop, (maybe i need to have most of my sharp objects taken away? but that would be impossible because im a huge crafter). but sometimes the bullying/threatening messages are way too much for me to handle, and sometimes the pain has already gotten to me to a point to where i cant easily calm myself down using my hypnosis techniques.
    im also feeling paranoid alot of the time, thinking im being stalked especially when it comes to the internet, everytime i get a really nasty or threatening email from someone i dont know, i think there out to get me! so, maybe i would need time away from the internet? i dont know.
    family is also an issue too. where i live now, there is much tension in the house involving a traumatic event that happened with a family member 2 1/2 years ago, and bigtime financial hardship. my hypnotherapist strongly believes i need to get out of the house and away from these situations at all costs, even for a short while before i eventually move out. im very "distant" with my mom even though i still live with her. i have too been wanting and needing just as much as to get away, as this also contributes to a plays a huge part in my panic attacks!

    i have been on countless numbers of meds for about a decade, with little success on the med part, the emotional support of my boyfriend, and the calming, healing effects of my hypnosis has been the only thing helping so far, and i know my shrink cant just take me off everything, so.

    if you think i should get help to this level, what could be the pros or cons of doing this, because i can NEVER go a night without seeing my boyfriend online as he is my one and only support. in fact, i told him about my concerns, that i was contiplating going into a hospital, and it made him cry. and even though a huge part of him doesnt want me to do it, because hed miss me too much, and not seeing me would be torture for him, just as much as it would be for me. but he wants me better. i need to know that if i decide to do this, what would i be risking, such as privacy, freedom, would i be like forced to get up at 5 or 6am (i always got very sick when getting up that early when in a psych ward twice before, as i am usually a nocturnal person, but they usually didnt care), and could i possibly be tied to the bed at night? and based on what i mentioned, how long would i have to stay in there like on average? these are all serious questions i have, and please respect that i am very concerned and scared to death if i decide to do this!

    :talk: <--society :blue: <--me
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    they don't force you to get up that early. on my last visit we got up around 8:30, when breakfast arrived. after breakfast you could go back to bed, just get up again when the psychiatrsit made his rounds. i would talk it over with your psychiatrist. generally the hospital helped me because they switched my meds and stabilized me. i didn't get any in depth therapy. i was mostly bored and waiting for the new medication to kick in. i don't know if that would help you. perhaps you could find a hospital that specializes in your issues. your psychiatrist would know best where to refer you.
  3. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Instead of hospitalization, you may want to consider intensive outpatient therapy (IOP) at the hospital. Normally, they do not want to hospitalize as an inpatient you if you are not a danger to yourself or others. From what you have said, that may not be the case. I wish you the best.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I cannot advise you what type of care you need, but I can say, that it is both brave and admirable that you are considering your options...please weigh all of them against feeling better...is getting up at 6AM as bad if there is the possibility that you might feel better? Hospitalization is what you make of it...I was hospitalized for 2 months for an immune supressed disorder and I found that my attitude towards the inconveniences did make some of them much easier to handle (e.g. food service waking us up at 5AM to ask what we wanted for breakfast when all I wanted was to sleep)...it took me a while to adjust and not feel angry about these events, but I finally was able to see it as another hurdle to deal with in the hope I would find a diagnosis...best of luck to you and please let us know what you decide...J
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you and your doctor can come up with a plan that will help you heal Hospitalization can work if you have the right team working with you. take care
  6. gothicmoon

    gothicmoon Member

    ok well, i had told my boyfriend about this, and that ive been cutting and sometimes ODing (he has actually seen me do it a few times). unfortunately he lives very far away from me. i had planned to go out to see him quite a few months back, but we cant really set a date for me to fly because its so darn expensive and i dont work and my mom takes all of my SSI money due to extreme financial hardship! he said recently that when i do eventually go out to see him, he is going to have me go into the hospital near his area. also, he has seen how bad my rages and panic attacks can get. guess the question that now lingers in my head is that, is it possible for me to voluntarily admit myself while out of state? if so, how could they get my medical records from the area im living in now and, well, can it be done? he thinks my situation IS dangerous and he does want me to go, its just that we both agree that its better for me to be in his area for me to be admitted so that he could see me everyday, and since hes the only one that really understands me inside and out. but then what about my family (or wats left of it)....i know they should be notified, but what about that round-trip plane ticket i would have gotten in the first place? what happens to it? does that mean that if i am admitted and i cant come back till yay later, then what? will i be stuck there? because i bet id have to somehow get alot of money to be able to get back.
  7. gothicmoon

    gothicmoon Member

    anyone? can someone please answer yet these newer questions? ive bwwn trying to ask around, but i cant get any replies, not even from yahoo, and its been 3 days! i really need these answers asap!
  8. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Sorry you have not gotten a reply. I think first of all the questions you ask most people would not know what to answer. Most of your questions need to be asked directly by an authority such as the airline. My guess is that you would be admitted in a different state. Hospitals do not ask which state you are from. They are more concerned about need. As far as records go, they regularly use fax etc. Good Luck
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