Have friends, but still feel lonely

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by eighth_circle, May 1, 2007.

  1. eighth_circle

    eighth_circle Member

    So today I went to my school's social gathering thing. Not exactly a party, nor a dance or anything. Just a praying/spiritual thing that is supposed to be fun. Kind of like a youth group thing. But you can invite friends from other schools or whatever. The thing is, I go to an all male high school.

    The thing begins, and some of my classmates brought some of their friends from other schools and even an all female school. I know a couple of them as well. We start doing activities, and it was time to eat. I see those people that I knew from another school and they acted like they didn't know me. As in, I was sitting and they just passed by. I wanted to say hi but they just kept walking.

    The only people I talked to were my closest friends.

    Here's another issue I have:
    I think I get this feeling of loneliness because I am not used to seeing or even talking to girls (ha!). Some may think this is not true, but it is, because I go to an all male school. I worry more about embarassing myself than anything else.
  2. Flight

    Flight Well-Known Member

    Grr... how is an all male/female school going to help teenagers learn social skills!? Ok, sorry, I had to rant for a second.

    Just remember that everyone is human, no one is perfect. Girls feel nervous and whatnot just the same as boys do. In my experience this is why girls tend to stay in little groups at social functions. But of course that makes them harder to approach.

    Don't worry about those friends passing you by. Unless you are sure they noticed you and ignored you, it may have been an unconscious mistake.

    The best way to start talk to a girl is probably "hey," or "hello." Just talk about anything you would with a random guy. "What school are you from?" "Have you seen a guy who looks like [describe one of your friends]?" or anything small talkish.

    Awkward silences are killer, but don't despair too much, you can end it with a "Well nice to meet you, I'd better go [whatever]. Hope to see you later." If you feel an awkward pause coming on.

    Talking to girls is nerve wracking at first. But once you have a few friends or acquaintances, you'll find you can talk to them about whatever, just like a couple of guy friends.

    If they don't seem to click with you, don't despair. A lot of people in the world simply have nothing in common. You shouldn't feel that you have to change who you are.

    Most importantly - try to have fun at those events! It sounds like that's what they are there for. Don't let them cause you undue social dread, just enjoy yourself above all else. Focus on praying if the social aspect isn't going well, and find strength in your spirituality.
  3. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    Agree 100% with flight. And remember, you can feel alone even in a gathering like yours. It is a state of the mind, not a fact. I also have girl issues, probably I'll take flight's advice too :)