My husband took his life 2 months ago. I care for our 2 year old and am carrying our daughter who has yet to be born. I went to a therapist. He made me feel like a horrible person for being on anti anxiety meds. Refused to take my case. My son has been pushing buttons all day. He was tired so I laid him down 30 minutes early. My father didn't like it so now he's stomping around and slamming things to keep my child up so he can be right. Grief is hard. Dealing with the trauma of finding my husband, him being stabilized only to die later is hard. Being a new single parent is hard. Carrying a child and having back problems is hard. Not having any help because my family expects me to be a super human and pull my socks up is hard. You know, it's not like I lost my husband in the most horrific way possible and NEED time to heal. Nothing like that. No sleep, in constant pain and feel sick, the memory of the love of my life dying in front of me 4 times, reaching out for professional help and getting shot down. Why not just follow my husband. Why continue to do this. This pain is not easy and I can't do it alone but I have to. And I can't. I'm only human and this is way too much to cope with. After 2 months I just can't anymore.