yesterday my not taking my medication caught up with me and i had paranoid manic delusions. the whole time I was in my room crying for help my mother just told me to cut it out. the sad thing is my manic world is more fun than the real one. other than abusing my medication i have no coping skills and no one in the real world to talk to, haven't even left the house in weeks. i don't really want to end my life but it almost seems like i dont have any other choice, it's too painful just to live each day alone and afraid of my own mind and cut off from society..