Have No one (sorry kinda long but finally my true feelings)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Mar 5, 2008.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    (Feel free to move to let it out, realized it was more of a vent half way through.)

    I know I bitch a lot on these boards but it's mostly because if I didn't vent on here I'd have no where to get my thoughts out. I figure a lot of you can understand the importance of getting them out and not letting them "grow" in my head.

    I just talked to my last "friend" for an hour and over the conversation I came to the realization that I really do have no one that I can talk to about my true feelings. She was the girl that I talked to about everything 4 years ago. We talked about what was stressing us, what we liked, and about relationships.

    I started talking to her because I needed to talk to someone about what was going on and she seemed like the person for it. I had only known her for about 2 weeks when I asked if I could discuss some things and from there we basically became each others shoulder to cry on. I came to University hoping that life would be different from before and university could be a fresh start with a new reputation. But I very quickly found out that things never change and the realization that I was always going to be "that guy" was crippling. I vented to my friend and it helped. We grew very close which leads me to my problem. I developed feelings for her. It's basically predictable since she's smart, funny and beautiful and the "hot guys" are hitting on her all the time.

    The problem is that now I obviously can't tell her what I'm thinking and feeling. I know she doesn't share the feelings I have and having her in my life, even just as a friend, is the only thing keeping me here at all.

    Now I'm left with absolutely no one to talk to about what I'm actually thinking and feeling. This forum helps some but there is only so much people who never actually meet you can do. I always do this. My brain always sees reality and says no but my heart doesn't care about the reality of life.

    For those of you that have never read any of my threads, I have never had a girlfriend (never kissed or even been on a date) and I turned 23 1 and a 1/2 weeks ago. I'm the type of guy that isn't good looking enough to just approach any girl. I prefer to get to know someone (relying in on my personality) and I find personality more important than looks. Granted I am attracted to looks (face is most important part) but if she isn't smart and funny it doesn't matter what she looks like. I get stuck as the "just friends" guy because I actually care about the person and I often listen to what girls want to talk about and give a male opinion. I find I have views that are more similar to the female perspective (raised in an all female house, mother, sister) but I do still look and think like a guy.

    It makes it easy for girls to talk to me and most importantly feel comfortable around me. But none see me as a guy worth having as a boyfriend. And I view a future without anyone to spend it with as pointless. I don't need to meet "the one" right now but I just want to know someone cares for me as something more than a friend.

    So I've lost the last person I could talk to candidly and now I'm left alone with my thoughts. I will wait long enough for her to leave me forever (I hope, it's so hard). I would never want to cause her any pain.

    Sorry for writing so long and if you made it all the way through, thank you.
  2. almosteasy

    almosteasy Well-Known Member

    That sucks man, your right to feel the way you do. No one should be alone. As far as women it’s a numbers game. Even the "Hot guys" have a low success ratio.

    For example a good looking guy might get a number 5/10 times. Go out with 1/5 girls he calls. Sleep with 1/10 girls he goes out with. From what you said in your post I'm assuming you have tried asking out too many girls.

    I would highly recommend that you at least try asking out 50 girls before you give up. And I don’t mean just going up to random girls and asking for dates. Get their number, talk to them for a few day/weeks and then ask them out.

    Also depending on how picky you are with looks it might be harder. So if you only go for the really beautiful girls, ask 100 before you completely give up. I guarantee you that if you talk to enough girls you will find someone to care for you. That’s the way the world works, I've seen it time and time again.
  3. sunshinesunny

    sunshinesunny Well-Known Member

    I am 28 now and till now i have come across lots of beautiful girls willing to even make love but i cant because of the family and the society.....So much for the good looks i had em was very attractive while i was younger. now i am sex less dont have the urge dont feel pleasure but i am living for people are slowly killing me.....i have no one my family ruined me they did not want me and they dont want any one to want me
  4. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    they see you as just a friend because you never show anything else to make them think otherwise. girls aren't mindreaders and are even less likely to ask a person out than you simply because (and i realise the 21st century but i'm a girl and i have talked to hundreds of girls about this) they like the guy to make the first move. If you never had a gf, or even talk about girls in that way your friends probably just assume you're not interested (althou i'm betting they wonder why behind your back as girls like to analyse everything!). If you find someone you think is pretty try using your contact with your girl friends to get to know her better. Sorry this is nothing against you but i'm sick and tired of men never making the first move....seriously!!!
  5. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    I've made the first move a couple of times and I've definitely made it apparent of what my feelings are for other girls (pretty sure my friend has a good idea of how I feel, just haven't said it in one solid phrase). But when they give the standard "I don't see you that way" or even worse, literally cringe, you stop trying.

    Doesn't really matter anymore since it will be over in 2 months or less.
  6. beauutyy

    beauutyy Well-Known Member


  7. the outsider

    the outsider Guest

    hey man, i know this isn't helpful but.... at least you have interaction with girls. I've never even had a girl as a friend. I've not talked to a girl my age for over 5 min. probably ever. i hardly even make eye contact with girls anymore because whats the point if i'll never talk to and really get to know them?
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I used to be shy around girls too, but now I get along pretty well with them. I don't what changed inside of me? I just relate well to women now and they like talking with me. For me though, I find that having female friendships work better than having a steady girlfriend. I'm not sure why though.

    BOLIAO Guest


    Do not despair because you do not have a girlfriend. Your time will come eventually when you meet someone who would share your ideals. If one needs to have good looks to have a BF / GF, the world would be full of bachelors n spinsters. Look around you in the public, is every couple beautiful & handsome? hell no. 23 is so young (although you may feel old), heck if I was 23 again, I would be so happy. Love or friendship will eventually come. Dont despair.
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