Have nothing left, any advice?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Spencce, Dec 22, 2013.

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  1. Spencce

    Spencce New Member

    So lately I have been feeling like there is nothing left for me to do in this life. I am 19 and haven't accomplished anything yet. Almost all of my family is dead, which opposite of what usually happens, has made the rest of us broke... and the ones that are alive are idiots that I do not like. I'm in college for computer programming but it just doesn't feel right, like I'm wasting my time and money. I have no job because the city I live in, you have to know somebody to work anywhere. I can't get a girlfriend because I don't have a job, a licence or anything. It's not because I haven't tried, because I had my share of popularity and had many chances but to no avail. The one thing I do have is lots of friends, but the popular ones only come around when they have nothing to do and will blow you off for a party or some shit. The not so popular ones are always around but all they wanna do is get high or drunk and try to be cool in hopes that they get accepted into popularity. After college, I can't see what I will be doing. Nothing makes sense when I try to make a plan. Can anyone give me some advice on what I should even start to do?
  2. iwanttohelp

    iwanttohelp Well-Known Member

    Well I'm a web developer for a living and I can tell you that a college degree in computer programming is about one of the few degrees left that is very, very much worth your time and money. Especially if you learn PHP, Joomla and WordPress you can get jobs through CraigsList and make good money from anywhere in the world and work at home. I have done this for years.

    So my advice is to learn HTML/PHP and start volunteering your programming talents to local non profit organizations, like churches, schools, etc. This will help you feel good about giving, provide experience to put on your resume, and give you a sense of community. These actions will make you feel good and give you a sense of purpose.
  3. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    What at nineteen are you supposed to have accomplished in your mind? Obviously school is basically on schedule since you are in college now - it is not time for careers and serious relationships since still in college and are still in fact a teenager - realistically the list of things to be accomplished by somebody 19 years old is pretty short - and could be summed up by a simple learn enough about life to get ready to try being an adult. It will be a challenge to have anything but a part time job or two while still getting your education , so aside from applying to typical teen type places for employment like fast food or entry level retail is not a lot to be done on the job end and certainly not as a career option yet.

    Presumably you are in your 1st or 2nd year of college - in which case 90% of what you are taking is prerequisites and will transfer over to any field you choose if you do want to change your major. Talk to your student adviser at college about possibilities if you think changing your major would be best maybe. The most popular people in High school and college typically are users - they use other people to try to enhance their own social status in some way and little more. Stick to your real friends for company and if the really popular people come around then fine , if not saves you being a peg in their social ladder and the headache of giving a crap about people that do not have the time or care about you.

    What should you do 2 small ideas and 1 big recommendation-

    1. Look into what you need to do to get a permit to learn to drive, how much insurance and stuff will be, and if it is possible set some goals and a timetable for doing that. Realistic ones , if you need to save money for them especially and set some modest goals for doing that. Take permit test by April , practice over summer, get license by end of summer as an example but make it your schedule tha can work in your situation and adress whatever challenges you face with making that happen.

    2. Keep applying for jobs, small simple part time things or even temporary things - even if you do not get a job the experience of applying and job hunting will serve you well. Check with your college to see if they offer work studies.

    3 . Most important of all - cut yourself some slack. You are in school and thinking about your future and what needs to be done to make that future better. You are actually way ahead of many 19 year olds. You have friends , seem smart and sensible... you have a lot of upside so give yourself the credit you deserve for what you do have and have accomplished. It is a lot more than you are giving yourself credit for.

    *edit - really good advice about exploring the programming further in the above post that showed up while I was typing as well
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I like what the other people have written. Especially #3 from NYJumpmaster. If you do anything what would it be? If you could indulge in anything for a job what would it be. Arts? Computer? Science? Medical? Legal? I am just curious. Many people when they are 19 do not know what they want to do. And thats totally okay. I was just curious what your interests are.

    This is a great community. Well, many people think it is. I hope that you can find support here. it must be so hard not having a lot of family to turn to. Some people consider some at in this community to be family.... and friends.

    Do you think that it might be a good idea to start to study to get your learner's permit as a first step to getting your driver's license? sometimes when we take a first step, the next one just seems to fall in place. You probably already know that.

    You have found a community here. If it feels right to/for you.
  5. Spencce

    Spencce New Member

    Thank you all very much for the replies. Just answering a few questions and adding on some things I seemed to have forgotten.

    "What at nineteen are you supposed to have accomplished in your mind?"

    Well I was raised to take care of myself at an early age, and I did many things on my own that no one I knew did as a child. My father raised me as a single parent, and I know everyone would say this about their parents, but my father really was the smartest, toughest man I've ever known. He had so much knowledge about EVERYTHING, and I never got a chance to learn it. In losing him, it made me kind of lost as to what to do.

    1. The driving licence thing isn't really my fault. I've had my beginners for over a year, but the two times I went to take the test something stupid happened. The first time I had a doctor's appointment and the person I was waiting for took way too long and I had to leave. The second time, I couldn't do the test because I had a small crack in my windshield... These people just want your money and don't care about your situation.

    2. In the last 6 months I've had 3 health problems that indicate that for the rest of my life, I'm gonna have to watch myself. The first was a pilonidal cyst which had to be surgically removed and took 5 months to heal. During that time, I got a kidney stone, aswell as a nerve problem in my wrist.

    3. What I want to do for a living? I said college was a waste of time and money. I feel this way because in my program, the teachers aren't very good and I am already familiar with lots of the content. Without a doubt, I could use textbooks and learn more than what the teachers give you.. Aside from college, I play guitar. Now obviously I'm not the type to brag seeing as I don't have much to brag about, but everyone that's heard me play says I'm the best guitarist in the city. I've gotten many offers to play in bands, but the problem is that it seems they were right.. no one is as good as me (sounds so egotistical lol), and I can't find a band to play my music.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2013
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Spence, The reason I asked that question is sometimes creative people, for one reason or another are forced into pursuing linear course of study and endeavors as a way to earn a living. And so too often they never are really fulfilled. A part of their heart and spark becomes dimmed/unfulfilled, as a result. I wondered if this was the case for you. If you are studying something that does not fulfill you because you are a creative person. hope you will take your gifts for music into account when you are deciding what to do in life. Because people spend so much time working each week. It is always good to do what we can be passionate about, at least some of the time. I do know all too well that being a musician or visual artist... being in the arts, tends to not be a great way to pay the bills. But sometimes something can be worked out to combine things to come up with a good path. one that you can feel passionate about.
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