Today I wanted to pull over to the side of the highway and step into the path of a semi truck. I'm 53 and I hate myself. I have nothing. My life is in shambles. I am on the brink of financial disaster. I have a crappy fairly good paying job that just barely pays my bills. My kids don't really like me. Oh, they love me because I'm their mom, but they left in a big hurry after high school and never looked back. I SUCK. I AM JUST WASTING SPACE. I've been divorced 3 times. The last marriage was SICK. Three and a half years later my sicko ex is still stalking me. Even after 2 ppo's (personal protection orders). I got nothing. I'm just a worthless slug. I hate me. HATE HATE HATE. I do everything wrong. I AM A MISTAKE. A turd. Nothing. Worthless. I raised two successful children..........that's it. Everything else in my 53 years of life has been a BIG JOKE. The only one who gives a shit about me is my dog..........I LOVE MY DOG. She would miss me. She would be confused if I was gone. She doesn't know I'm a worthless piece of shit. When I think that I could live another 10, 20, or 30 years it makes me sick. Just what I want.........all those years of loneliness, despair and fear. No, I can't do it. I can't.