Hi, I am about a year into recovery, doing really really well, so much so that Ive been told by doctors that someone with my history (was doing it for decades,not just years), my past trauma (abuse,bereavements,isolation) and my age (40), its very rare to kick mia to the kerb, but I did it and I am very happy. life is beautiful on the other side of mia and I never thought I would say that. Health wise, I have been really lucky, with recovery, a lot of minor things just disappeared or reversed themselves. But....I have been left with one thing and its something that I am trying not to worry about but I admit, i do, and a lot. I got an endoscopy done of my oesophegus (because of being so long in mia) and the consultant found pre cancerous cells. He has gone out of his way to reassure me about what he found. He said that he found them so early that if anything ever changes in the future (that they become cancerous), he can laser them off and that I will never develp oesophegal cancer. He said I could still have got these cells, even without the bulimia, because so many people can have them and never know (because they dont get endoscopies, until they get bad symptoms, I got mine done with no symptoms, just the history of mia). Despite him saying this, I feel as if I have a time bomb inside me. You see, my grandfather and three of my dads siblings all died from oesophegal cancer (ok, they drank and smoked a lot, I dont), so there is definitely a genetic weakness there, the main reason the consultant thinks I have the cells, not from the bulimia. It just freaks me out though, to think I have this thing inside me. I FEEL so strong physically, so good, so healthy, a different woman, life is so good without mia....I just wish I didnt have this thing inside me. Am I being stupid? It freaks me out so much. I wouldnt go back to mia because of it but I feel as if it kind of caught me out in the end.