have to cut ties

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by petulant, Jul 9, 2007.

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  1. petulant

    petulant Member

    I was going to do it tonight andthen I called my T like a moron and he like yelled at mee on the phone and said Im putting him on the spot for telling him and that he's supposed to call an ambulance.
    Im going to do it anyway I just dont want to screw it up and wind up a vegetable or with liver failure or whatever. It would be so nice if he woud just be there with me instead of trying to stop me. I imagine he's afraid of getting in trouble. So now that I called him like an idiot and I did what he said I have to wake up tomorrow and deal with another fucking day. Im so fucking STUPID.
    Since I tell himm everything I guess I have to stop seeing him so he doesnt get in trouble and so I actually go through with it. Its going to be so difficult. Im going to try to post here instread of emailing and calling him so much. You dont have to read it or reply or anything.

    I did it (the deed) with this guy that I loved that dumped me. He was just looking for sex but whatever, I loved him so now its a good time. It was like a goodbye thing. Anyway.

    The T is trying to guilt me becasue I have kids but Im useless to them anyway. Trust me-useless. Im distancing myself from them and my best friend died, and also my husband, and now the boyfriend dumped me. Really all thats left is the psychologist. Its going to be hard thoug because im so frigging dependent in general.

    Sorry so long. Just put up with me until I get this done. Thanks.
  2. petulant

    petulant Member

    A note to my T

    Ugh. I realized from something he said today that my shrink comes on here.

    Youre reading this, Enlightened One, aren't you? Thanks for being so nice to me today. Youre the best and i do feel better for now :) I did constructive things today. I just came on here because I thought you said something that I posted on here and I wanted to see if I was right..

    But this site is OK? The people are nice and mostly ANTI suicide, so I imagine thats OK? No "methods" allowed...

    Isnt this so friggin weird though, lol...
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    petulant,please don't do anything it's not worth it and you shouldn't of been yelled at by your T.I'm here to talk with you anytime you need.:smile:
  4. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Likewise pm anytime we will all talk to you and nobody will be yelling!! i have similar experience to you

    Hang in there hun
  5. petulant

    petulant Member

    Thanks, both of you :) I guess he shouldnt have yelled but I can drive anyone nuts. He puts up with a lot. He was there for me throughout my husbands illness and a whole bunchof other stuff. He really is a great guy. I saw him yesterday and Im kind of better. He goes above and beyond. He stayed on the phone with me for an hour, at like ten oclock at night. And then yesterday he took my sorry butt to the park. So maybe he yells but he tries like hell.
    I had two good days yesterday and today. Before that I hadnt had any in a while. Every day was a huge struggle and I felt too worn out to struggle through another one.
    I've been exceptionally crazy lately with my husband dying, losing my job and then having to move in with the people who abused me as a kid, and then the new boyfriend dumping me was the kicker.
    Anyway, Imnot always this nuts. Please feel free to PM any time too.


    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 10, 2007
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