have to leave

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Patient Pianist, May 19, 2011.

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  1. this is my first post here and im sorry that im no use to anyone in this state.
    i have a history of mental illness and due to physical illness i havent been working since Jan
    i have had to move back in with my parents
    recently they have said they dont believe im ill at all and that im lying
    im so confused
    i had a job interview last friday and found out today i didnt get the job
    i would have loved the job but thats not really it
    my mother just yelled
    complained it wasnt a teaching job anyway
    i cant teach so she'll never be happy
    i just want to leave and be alone
    im old enough for it not to be running away
    i just want to leave and have the time and space to destroy myself
    i cant be around like this
    i need to die
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    welcome.

    can you apply for disability benefits so you can afford to get back out on your own again? depending on where you live the members here will be able to advise you.

    sounds like your parents are really influencing your outlook. you need to get away asap so you can start to heal.

    do you have any other supports in your life, like a therapist or counsellor? that might help, too.

    glad you found us. keep posting. always happy to listen,

    c
     
  3. i dont really have any support at the moment. i was seeing a psych but she left in Dec last year. i have found it very hard to adjust without her.
    i need to leave but have no means of doing so
    i need to figure that out
    people are out tomorrow am thinking just packing a small bag and going.
    all i need are my meds to die
    probably dont qualify for any benefits
    no one would let me get away with that
    im a fake a liar and i need to be dead
     
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    no, you don't need to die.

    i imagine that you are in indescribable pain and just want that pain to stop. who wouldn't? but don't believe the messages your parents are giving you, that you are a drain or are worthless. because it's simply not true. i've only just met you and already i can tell you are very brave, after all you found this forum and started posting. that's great!

    i have to go to see my shrink right now but i'll be back in a few hours to check in and see how you are doing.

    in the meantime, keep posting.

    ps i think you are wrong about benefits. if you want to share which country you are in the members from that country can give you some more practical advice. i konw about the system in ireland and in canada as i've been on benefits for mental health reasons in both countries.
     
  5. i am worthless and a drain
    i am in the uk
    i would never get benefits because of my parents
    i want to die
    ive had enough of being here just for my parents to yell at
    i will miss my brother but i cant do this anymore
    he will understand
    my last hope is to call crisis but to be honest i dont believe im worth their time anyhow
    i need to die
     
  6. eagle

    eagle Well-Known Member

    you don't need to die. you just need some help to get through a particularly hard time at the moment. i think if you go back to your GP and ask to be referred, you might get some help that way and you might start to feel more stable.

    in the meantime, you have all of us here supporting you
     
  7. thank you but i do need to die
    ive been to my Dr
    they referred me to the crisis team
    theyve stopped seeing me
    im on waiting lists but it will be a while
    i need to leave and i need to die
     
  8. eagle

    eagle Well-Known Member

    keep on at crisis. they may be able to bump you up the list a bit. they chased my rreferral very nicely. and they can help with the thoughts you've been having now
     
  9. i rang crisis
    i need to take more exercise
    i cant do this anymore
    i cant do any good anymore
     
  10. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    my crisis team used to tell me to take a bubble bath when i was suicidal! how silly was that.

    as if exercise will help you through this crisis.

    would you be willing to go to the ER? they can take care of you until you start to feel better

    in the meantime keep posting. let us help you through this.
     
  11. i cant go to a &e as since Jan i have been banned from driving due to seizures
    i have no money on me for a taxi and my parents wouldnt take me because they dont believe im really ill at all
    i had involvement from crisis/htt a couple of weeks ago and it was really helping with having someone to talk to and on a practical level

    i just couldnt tell them that i wanted to die.
    i said all the self harm stuff ive done
    but all i need now are my pills and the alcohol
     
  12. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    Sounds like your parents are frustrated, but what they may not realize is you are too (from what I've read here). Understandably you all are. I mean who WANTS to go back home especially after having been on their own? I know I wouldn't. Have you considered trying to set a plan and ideal and realistic date (not to die) to try to do what you reasonably can to get back out on your own? Try starting with small goals, ie applying for at least 5 jobs a week. Start with small steps, but certain and healthy ones. Please keep in mind your parents denial most likely has more to do with their frustration. That's their issue, but it doesn't mean that it's truth. Keeping perspective will be helpful right now. I've been seeing more that when we stick to the facts (not opinions) it's much more helpful when dealing with challenges. Btw needing to die is not a fact it is an opinion, and won't be helpful while trying to learn what options you have out there. It's self-defeating and that's not helpful. We're here. Keep sharing as you need to.
     
  13. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    it seems your parents are adding to your emotional state and is not helping at all. i dont see why you cant get disability..it doesnt matter if you at home, you should be able to at least claim disability living allowance.

    if you cant get taxi...is it worth either calling police and telling them you are suicidal and dont know what to do, maybe they will take you, or just phone ambulance..let them take you. or just keep pestering crisis line and tell them exercise is not an option (even i know this, i keep getting told exercise but you have to be motivated to do it!!! lamers)

    your life is not worthless..you are just in bad place with negative feed back from those that should support you so consider phoning 999 for either police or ambulance, they cant ignore you. hang on in and keep safe :hug:
     
  14. i know my parents dont make things any easier but right now i have no idea what to do
    this is going to sound stupid but i have no idea what to do about benefits
    crisis were going to help me but i dont see them anymore
    i payed for drinking etc the other day, i still dont feel right
    to be honest ive given up caring
    everything is so fake now
    i cant change the thoughts
    stupid stupid me
     
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