..that you were outcasted most of your life by friends? Here is my story (don't worry it's very brief). I feel that I've been outcasted by my friends since middle school and high school. I got those looks that you know for a fact you were being judged right then and there because you don't fit under their "high standards" When I went on into college, I thought things would be better. Well, I joined the greek system and it was 3x worse. Granted I did make a couple of really good friends there but joining a fraternity made me feel very inferior. Everytime we had a party, I felt as if they just wanted me to be at an area where all the beautiful women didn't see me so they were not creeped out or anything. Essentially, freshman all the way through sophomore year of college I was selfless and gave a lot but felt inferior. Junior year however, I became the COMPLETE opposite. I became a selfish and prideful jerk to those I REALLY despised thinking that it would fill my void. Senior year I got a girlfriend who used me but I broke it off. I just recently graduated with 2 business degrees. So I tell you all of this to ask this: Why do I still feel this way?? I still feel very intimated by people, especially beautiful women. At times, I feel incredibly hateful to those because I always think/feel that they are on top of the world and will just laugh at me. If this helps, I was very sheltered throughout my high school years and I was bullied a bit junior year of high school. It's just driving me nuts. I havn't felt happy in years because of all of this... Most of my friends and acquaintances are living the high-life, having a good time going to the river, camping WITH FRIENDS, and getting married. It's as if I don't exist. When I get a job, I've honestly thought about completely changing my entire identity just for the purpose if erasing that past and all the people in it. We're talking a new name and everything (I know it sounds weird but like I said, it's driving me nuts) Help?