Have you ever had a family member, friend, or a random person make you suicidal?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AsphyxiateOnMisery, Apr 5, 2012.

  1. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Many a time I've had a day where I start out feeling somewhat decent and then someone in my family or just some stranger on the street says something dumb and ruins my entire day, makes me suicidal with their stupid comment. They don't realize that what they say we sometimes take completely to heart and it makes us feel terrible because of our mental illnesses (which they either don't know about or don't know how vulnerable we are to criticism). So I was wondering if this type of thing has happened to anyone else on here. If so, describe the situation and how it made you feel.

    I hate dumb people like that who can't just mind their own business and shut up. They completely disregard the fact that they could possibly trigger someone to feel like shit when they do this sort of thing.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2012
  2. Yes.. My stupid unemployed father did that all the time.. Calling me alien for being the only asthmatic in the entire family.. Now I had my marathons achievements and he once called me an outcast for being an asthmatic and sick girl.. Guess what I told him and he didn't call me names anymore?? I told him that despite I am the only asthmatic in the family, I have completed a 21km, 42km & a 100km marathons with my asthma, whereas the rest of the family especially him, are incapable of completing a simple 10km jog.. Hah!! He shut up after that and from then on, no one dares to call me asthmatic girl, sick girl or any funny names poking at me for being an asthmatic..

    Anyway, FUCK their goddamn rotten mouths..
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, all the time...one of the main reasons I want to do it is because of how people treat me. You can only take so much of being belittled, teased, ignored, picked on and hated until you just want to disappear. It sucks that people have to be such assholes and I wish it wasn't that way.
     
  4. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Witty - I agree. I wish somehow there was room in their tiny pea-sized brains to understand the fact that if they say something stupid and insulting, it might actually trigger someone to want to die. It might have been the last straw for that person. Fucking people don't even realize nor care about the damage they cause to others.
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Sometimes people see it as a joke, or think we won't take it seriously, but it's not like that at all. When I was picked on in school, teachers would think it was funny and even join in. I guess the fact that I took like 40 days off school didn't mean anything. Sometimes I get told that I shouldn't be upset if people say things that hurt my feelings, because they're just words. Well that doesn't matter because it still fucking hurts a lot. It just sucks that you or I or anyone else has to feel this way because of someone's careless way of speaking.
     
  6. windywave

    windywave Well-Known Member

    yes, my mother and a few people who i've become attached to. i hate it when my mother compares me to another child, when i'm the last priority, when she shows that she doesn't like me and have no confidence in me, when she thinks i'm stupid or think of my decisions as stupid, when she makes me feel that i am a burden. when someone close to me lie or deceive me, think i'm stupid or have no feelings.
     
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I totally agree.

    "Words can crush things that are unseen, it doesn't take a talent to be mean" (Jewel)

    It brought on my suicide when a friend did this to me - accusing me of something awful she was blaming me for, it's taken a long time to get over it. The friend has since died, a horrible drawn out cancer death. I am sorry it was that way for her - but a Priest said to a group I was in recently that when people misunderstand things (deliberately) and then act on them, it's a death-dealer.

    I saw a wonderful quote today about unforgiveness:

    UNFORGIVENESS

    …. IS CHOOSING
    TO STAY TRAPPED
    IN A JAIL CELL
    OF BITTERNESS
    SERVING TIME
    FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S CRIME


    ++++++++++++++++++

    So true - and I know it's hard to forgive, but holding onto any resentments only makes us suffer twice.
     
  8. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Urprecious- I like that quote. I'll try to keep it in mind as best as I can for future.

    Witty- Don't even get me started on high school. No one thinks it was a big deal that I got made fun of, but it was big enough to me that I dropped out and got a GED instead. I would have otherwise had to present a graduation project in front of 30 people or so, half of who had made fun of me and bullied me at some point in their lives. I wasn't about to do that in front of people I hated. Especially since I had (and still have) severe social anxiety. When I told her how much i hated that place, my mom said "Oh, you're just saying that. You'll miss high school one day after you leave and get out into the real world." It's been 5 years now since I last went there, and still not missing it. Still hoping the place burns down.
     
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, I know how you feel...no one understands why I hated school so much. My mom and people at school would just get mad when I skipped, instead of asking what was wrong. I would probably have even chosen to be homeschooled if I had that choice.
     
  10. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I know that if I ever have kids I will do my best to have them homeschooled. High school is so full of crap, especially for vulnerable people.
     
  11. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I had a rough time in school for many different reasons. I went to two different schools in areas far apart from each other and I was bullied in several different ways. The first, I was bullied for my race and people of other races made assumptions that I was a wh*re so I used to get people hassling me for sex and blow jobs all the time. Then when a certain incident happened, it spread round school like wildfire which did not help my reputation, and came from the guy who did it to me and twisted and manipulated what had happened. I also had racist remarks thrown at me constantly (I was white in a multi ethnic school where I was in the minority). It was during this period that I started cutting myself yet people would make a big deal like they had no idea why I was doing it. Then when I moved schools I was bullied in a completely different way. One part was people who I thought were friends from my old school turned against me and spread vicious rumours about me and bullied me on social networking sites and msn. Then when I went to visit my most loyal friend a gang of 40 people chased after me to try and beat me up. Then at this new school people just started picking on me and I don't know why. Maybe it was cos I had a different accent, or was just a newbie but this is when I made a serious attempt to kill myself. After that I only went to school for 2 hours a day and I had to drop some subjects because my grades were suffering. Although I recovered from this it has still scarred me for life and has triggered other forms of deteriorating mental health issues that I will more than likely have for life.
     
  12. shortie

    shortie New Member

    I find myself in situations like these all the time. Just today, on my way back from work, I had given up my seat for an elderly lady on the bus. A guy, who obviously had a seriously bad leg and limping problems hopped on just as the bus was about to leave and he had asked a teenager if he could take his seat and the teen rudely told him to 'fuck off'. I just thought to myself.. 'why the fuck do I bother staying in a world that just seem to despicable?'

    Another example also came to mind when reading this. During one on my highschool classes, on a completely random topic asked what time we all slept, and being teenagers the most frequent reply was past 2am in the morning. I didn't reply and when he came to ask me, I simply said I sleep at 3am from a day to day bases. He then went to address the class saying 'if you guys weren't on the internet, facebooking and gaming all the time, you'd get more energy to do work at school.' I was so pissed off that he assumed such things. Probably wasn't his intention at all, but sometimes it really hits home. I retorted that it isn't always just unecessary things like that and he just passed it off like nothing. I felt to cut.
     
  13. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I know what that's like. Like I said in an earlier post in this thread, I dropped out and got my GED because of all the bullying. People don't understand how serious that is, and what long term effects it could have on the person being bullied. Ironic thing is that the bully always forgets their victims but their victims never forget them.
     
  14. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter


    Luckily, after my attempt I had extremely good treatment from the child and adolescent mental health services and I was eventually able to overcome some issues and not feel suicidal and kept me at a level where I could function and live a normal life for a while. I managed to get my grades up and worked my ass off and got into university and worked my ass off some more. I got a loving fiance and some friends. But it never really goes away. It took me a while to figure out why I relapsed back into depression but I think I know why now. I was put on a work placement at this place 2 days a week and they treated me like absolute shit and were horrible to me. So I relived everything all over again. Now I have gotten so unstable and while I am not actively planning to kill myself and I am functioning well, it will only take a big event for me to snap and lose it all again. So you are right when you say victims never forget their bullies, because whenever the shit hits the fan for me, I relive every single time I was called a name, every single time I was followed home and hassled for sex, every time I was groped, every time a gang of boys came and hassled me till I either snapped or walked off fighting the tears.
     
  15. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    Amethyst - It seems as though life is just full of pain, for the more intelligent people anyway. "Normal" people are too ignorant to realize how much the world sucks. They just try to fit into society and do what they're supposed to do and they're happy living their lives as mindless robots that way. But that could never be me. If you read my thread in the crisis section, I don't know how much longer I'm planning on being here and sticking around to live in a society where everything is ass backwards and no one gives a shit about anything but themselves.
     
  16. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I often find that people who have their own mind are never popular because they don't conform to other peoples' and societys' rules. But I guess the way I see it is, if I stay on this planet, I could make some change, even if it was to help one person realise that they should keep their own mind and be themselves.
     
  17. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I agree with you that an individual can make small changes in society or maybe help a few other people, but I'm not sure if that's worth it for me to stick around.
     
  18. kevbot

    kevbot New Member

    I'm feeling pretty low after getting into a heated discussion with my parents, which was all my fault. I let myself get anxious and defensive and hurt their feelings pretty bad. We all apologized today, but I still feel rotten about it.
     
  19. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Yes, I get upset when I try to explain my condition and someone just laughs at me or completley ignores what i am saying, i feel like crap when I am dealing with physical illnesses and someone say "its nothing just a stomach ache, " and they have no idea just how painful and debilitating it can be. I start feeling like if they dont care then i guess i shouldnt either.
     
  20. AsphyxiateOnMisery

    AsphyxiateOnMisery Well-Known Member

    I've been there and done that, too. My family says hurtful things to me sometimes and it pisses me off and upsets me, so I say something upsetting or hurtful back. Sometimes I feel bad about it, but other times I think, "why the fuck do try treat me that way when I've told them numerous times how vulnerable I am to being criticized, judged, or put down?" They just think that me being vulnerable means that I think "I'm special" and deserve some sort of special treatment because I put myself up on a pedestal or something. Of course, that couldn't be further from the truth because I hate myself and don't think I'm "special" by any means. They just have no clue sometimes.