Have You Ever Had A Therapist Tell You You're A Lost Cause?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ELLIEANDMONKEY, Jun 26, 2011.

  1. ELLIEANDMONKEY

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    I was seeing a psychologist as I am suicidal. On our 4th visit he told me that I was having trouble getting to the anger phase and he couldn't help me any longer until I learned to get angry.

    Problem is I've never been much of an angry person. I am angry with my ex who hurt me deeply but I am still sad and blame myself and what not.

    After that meeting I thought I was going to go jump off a bridge.

    I never want to see him again. He made me feel so stupid and he was a textbook psychologist. He tried to relate everything to something that happenned in my childhood. The problem is I had a very normal childhood and he couldn't accept that. He kept saying perhaps I was not being completely up front? I was.

    My brother is telling me this guy was seriously only taught to go by a textbook and he was not a good guy to go to.

    I don't know. He was very textbook...he even took some books out and looked to see if I had signs of this or that. You know...10 signs you are so and so, etc.

    However this has made me feel worse than ever.

    Anybody been through this?

    :Leiaha::sheep2:I just put these here because they are cute and make me feel a bit better just looking at how cute they are.
     
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Not in so many words, but three of them gave up on me.

    I wonder what they're up to now...
     
  3. emotional_girl

    emotional_girl Well-Known Member

    It's sad that a person who is suicidal already would have a therapist just give up on them. That would make one even more suicidal. I would suggest you go to another therapist...one who knows what they're doing and can actually help you.
    I'm so sorry that happened to you.

    :hug:

    Hang in there!
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    My first therapist was very much like this, not a bad therapist but absolutely useless where I was concerned, he acknowledged it too.
    My second (and last wonderful therapist) also told me I needed to let the anger out, actually got angry with me for not being angry :laugh:
    When I finally did let it rip he paid for the damages...4 sets of french windows!
     
  5. foolnomore

    foolnomore Well-Known Member

    Not a therapist but one time the Samaritans told me there was nothing they could do to help me which made me feel wonderful , when the Samaritans give up on you there really is no hope.
     
  6. Sailor_Saturn

    Sailor_Saturn Active Member

    Yes, once I went to this psychologist and showed her my cuts on my arm and said how I am extremely suicidal, and she dismissed all that and said "Is that all?" and "What's good in your life?" after she said "Is that all?" I know you may say that she is trying to make me focus on the positive but I was feeling so low because of a number of things that she was acting like she didn't care. I went again to the counselling center at my University(which is where I went before since that's where trained Psychologists work, as well as a medical clinic for stuff like colds, lack of sleep, etc.)and she was the only one taking anyone new. I said I didn't want her, I only started seeing her that one time after the counsellor I was originally seeing who was really good left. That counsellor was good, she helped me a lot, but after she left things got worse, not because she left but because a lot of bad things happened, I was being harassed by my ex-boyfriend, he had been harassing me when I was seeing my original counsellor, but shortly after she left, his harassment got worse, and has gotten worse yet again, yesterday he went and decided to post harassing things about me on a website where you couldn't make it so only friends could see or post on your userpage, and I did block him on his "known" accounts, but he would just make a new account and post mean things from it. I reported his posts yesterday, and hopefully they will be removed. This is on a website I am not quitting, I have a friend who does not know him but I go to university with this friend and this is on a site where you can post pictures up of things you draw and photos you take, and she is a talented artist and I like seeing her drawings since once she is finished them she puts them up on the website. He is not attending the university that I am attending(though we both live close to each other) nor did he know that I was in counselling. I was in so much pain emotionally because of him(he had been harassing me since 2009 but the cops wouldn't do anything since he was not threatening me, however he was cyberbullying me, and I read in a magazine that was made in the United States that it's against the law to cyberbully in the United States and punishments are handed out to those who do cyberbully, but in Canada that is not the case. People who beat other people up get away with it. Bullying seems to be encouraged in Canada, not joust from my experience, but from other people who are in Canada that I talk to as well that are bullied.) I have been bullied since I was really young because of my epilepsy, and no, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I don't purposely instigate any fights but I on't put up ith bullying either. I tell bullies off, I tell them to grow up and get lives, I tried ignoring and have been ignoring for many years but it won't stop. Whoever said ignoring works for every person is wrong. And this is not just from my experience that I'm saying this, I'm saying this because of other people who have said the same thing to me, they have been bullied and tried ignoring it but ignoring didn't work and the people who supposedly are authorities(teachers, police, parents, etc.) don't care. It does seem that society supports bullying, an episode of The Simpsons titled "Wedding For Disaster" had a billboard gag that said "Support Your Local Bullies" and I seen a recent episode where Bart had accidentally beat Nelson up (such as hitting him by accident with a tetherball)and was declared the new school bully and was given Nelson's old parking spot, apparently in The Simpsons they even got a parking spot for the school bully for the bully to park their bike. It seems that the creators of The Simpsons are realizing that we live in a world that supports bullying, from my experiences there is a motto that says "Support the bullies, without your support they won't be able to bully." No wonder so many people have tried to kill themselves/succeeded in killing themselves because of bullying. I have tried many times (about fifteen times) and unfortunately screwed up each time, and even went to this hospital that deals with mental health issues VOLUNTARILY and said how suicidal I am, I even went one day after making a massive suicide attempt the day before by overdosing on a drug, but they released me within three hours even after I explained everything to them.
    I'm just so sick of it all and wish it would all be over soon, if this was like the book "The Giver" by Lois Lowry(which is a book I don't like very much because they kill people who are "different", I'm sure they would kill me because I'm "different" because of my epilepsy, however that wouldn't be so bad given all the grief I have and am still experiencing)I would have chosen to "release" myself long ago, since at least in that book you can. No way would I be staying in this world. I hate it here. I try to be positive, but it's getting harder each day to do so.
     
  7. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    My counsellor told me the only way he could help me to stop cutting was to ban the making of razor blades and knives. He told me he wasn't worried about me, that he couldn't help me and that i'd be fine. I was admitted to him because I attempted to kill myself and landed myself in hospital.

    It made me even more suicidal after he told me that. I was discharged from him and i'm on the waiting list to see another counsellor. I don't know what they'll be like yet, but i'm not giving up and neither should you. :hug:
     
  8. ELLIEANDMONKEY

    ELLIEANDMONKEY Well-Known Member

    Thanks.

    I don't want to give up but it makes me doubt myself even more.

    One would think that it would be a requirement of a therapist to be understanding and patient.

    He made me feel so stupid and ashamed.

    Perhaps I will try to see someone else.
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not a good fit then yes change hun get someone that listens to YOU okay and hears what you are truly saying Yup my first one was like that but i am glad i changed now i have a therapist who truly listens and cares and not through books he has the knowledge and uses it to my situation You deserve someone that cares hun you truly do
     
  10. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    any therapist that makes you feel bad is not a good therapist! their job is to make you feel better about yourself and life not worse. they may have the qualifications but clearly not the empathy required to deal with vulnerable people.

    i saw 3 different psychiatrists and only 1 of them i felt comfortable with and they all had different opinions and my community care guy whilst v pleasant, i just cant trust to do what he says...in january we agreed to meet every 2 weeks as i was overwhelmed with appointments and i have seen him twice, once when i rang in desperation and once when he found an old msg.

    dont let the bad ones cloud your judgement if you can help it. i realise now i have a great therapist who originally allotted me 10 / 12 sessions and i only realised the other day i have been seeing him since dec/jan with the odd missed week.

    a competent therapist wont give up, maybe you made him/her feel out of his/her depth, but thats their prob and not yours.

    keep trying different therapists, there are good ones out there.

    take care

    :hug:
     
  11. villa

    villa New Member

    He Sounds like a total jerk to me. Seems that he could learn some logic from you. You seem very smart and sometimes talking to these people don't help, sometimes it does. You just need to find a good match. If you can't get angry, that just tells me you have accepted what you had no control over and you are just dealing with the after effects. Eventually you will figure it all out and move on to better things. Good luck.
     
  12. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I am sorry for all of you who have had bad experiences.

    It is completely shocking to me how these types of individuals can practice.

    As others have said, there are good ones out there, I am exceedingly fortunate to have one.

    Please don't give up - call and have a phone interview and then an in person interview. Remember they work for you/us, not the other way around.

    I wish you can all find the helpful, empathetic and knowledgeble therapists out there.

    Take care.