Have you ever?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Random, Jul 17, 2008.

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  1. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Have you ever thought about if you actually decided to do it and you got right down to the moment? I was thinking about it today and I think the gravity of the moment would just be crushing and I don't think I could do it. I've always known I was a coward in some ways but I never really thought I'd be a coward if such a "moment of truth" arose.

    But when I go through the scenario in my mind and I get to that point, I know all I'd be thinking about would be reasons why I shouldn't. I do think I'd be scared. More than I've ever really thought.
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I beleive that if you are going to commit, you have to be in the right frame of mind. I have already AS and woke up feeling like shit, my hands and anchels and feet were all swollen up.
    I guess what I am trying to say is that there are always repercussions for every act. It isn't ment to be easy because you are going against the nature of things. We weren't ment to harm ourselves.
    I would only reccomend going thru therapy and learning how to survive and how to fight the thoughts. I have been in therapy for three years now, and even though I still have the thoughts. She says they may never go away. I have learned to live with them, but it wouldn't take much to pushing me over the edge. You have to set short goals that way you reeducate youself to be more intimate with yourself. If you don't love yourself how do you expect someone else to love you. I am really bad about that. I have decided I will be alone the rest of my life. I have been hurt and used for the last time!! Good Luck To You!!:chopper:!!
     
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    You brain will do anything it can to fight you desire to die
    it will fill you with fear, it will make your acts difficult becouse
    it will rise your heart bit and you will start to shake.
    It will pump adrenaline, just so that your boddy will be able to resisnt damage
    It will knock you unconscious just so that you wount be able to fight it.

    And then you wake up.. alive...
     
  4. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Hold that thought. Fear can be a powerful incentive. Suicide is a thing to be feared. Do what I've been told to do many times - focus on living, get your focus off dying. OK?
     
  5. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Aye, it happens. It happened to me actually.
    Half way through I just couldn't get myself to swallow the rest, so I ended up just gagging, getting really sick, and waking up to my parents just thinking I got intensly drunk the night before, laying on the bathroom floor.
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You never know what may happen when it gets right down to it, but I hope that the part of you that wants to live always steps in and prevents you from harming yourself. :hug:
     
  7. leftoutsidealone

    leftoutsidealone Well-Known Member

    well, once i was drunk, and there was this bottle of painkillers , and I was so numb that I started swallowing them, one after another, thinking ironically to myself that they should kill the pain, right...? at the time I was living in the dorms, and my room-mate and best friend came home, found me lying there, conscious but feeling very sick. she dragged me to the bathroom and I guess the alcohol helped to throw it all up, so I got away with a stomach-ache. ever since, I only keep soluble aspirin at home - these large pills are impossible to swallow. as they write in nytimes.com,
    many suicides could be prevented by removing the most handy means out of reach. and it's actually the impulsive ones that have higher "success" rate - like jumping off a bridge or shooting oneself. people taking pills usually don't intend to die, it's their last call for help. i think my act was just that.
     
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    That's kind of what I meant. I was talking about if I were to come down to the moment, I would be one of those people who would chose a very lethal method. What I was saying was the finality of it would just be crushing because I would know that really was "it".

    I should have noted for the record that it was just idle thought. I'm neither that far gone nor that impulsive. Getting all handy means out of reach wouldn't save me if it came down to it because I'm very methodical and I think about things before I act.
     
  9. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Ive been there all to many times, and adrenaline does start pumping around, and you just think, maybe this time it will work. but then there is always hope found in the tightest corner of the heart and soul, just leaking away trying to prevent you from harming.
    i have those thoughts all the time, i mean shall i get myself ran over or sumin, as not so many people survive, then i think no its not fair on the other people, and if i survive i may not be able to recovery like i previously have.
    when i am drunk, i am very impulsive, this is what my counsellor says, that drinking is what courses me to attempt suicide, although it is gettin stronger without alcohol. x
     
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