Have you had near death experience?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by SeaShells, Jul 19, 2013.

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  1. SeaShells

    SeaShells Member

    I've been suicidal on and off for years. I've just entered this state of mind again after the best happy time of my life which lasted around 18 months. Just goes to show... every time I think I've got this thing beat, it rears it's ugly head again and then I feel like an idiot for getting sucked in.

    One of the things that has held me back from ending my life over time is my firm and unwavering spiritual belief that if I do this thing, I'm going to have to come back and go through it all again until I finally break through it. Fuck that! I don't want to come back. In my teens this lead to a keen interest in the occult as I searched for a way to destroy my soul but didn't really find much and the occult wasn't fun. I've never been a great researcher and now my interest in black magic, satanic stuff etc etc is nil.

    What I'd like to know, is if anyone who has survived an attempt here has seen the mysterious 'white light' or 'tunnel' or had conversations with loved ones on the other side before coming back. Any afterlife stuff at all? If you're shy about talking publicly of your experience if you have had one, please feel free to pm me about this. I don't check the forum every day but I'll get there.

    Last week was the week when my rules disintegrated. I used to have a long list of rules such as "has to look like an accident", "not in the same month as a family members birthday", etc etc. But those rules are gone now. The only rule I have left is "not where I live". So I was getting my shit together last week when I remembered that my husband had an event that he's been training for and planning for around 8 months. I love my husband more than anyone on the planet. He's the strongest and best person I know and I couldn't just die right before the event and leave him like that. So I put it off until the following Monday but he was recovering, then I had my appointment with my counsellor on Wednesday so I didn't get around to it. Right now I'm a little relieved to be honest. The last 18 months have been great. It was wonderful to feel like a normal and functioning member of society. I'm hoping to get back there.

    That last paragraph was a rant. I considered deleting it but won't. Everything happens for a reason and there'll be a reason I wrote it. But I'd really love to know if anyone has had after death experiences. I'm not interested in any religious/biblical responses no matter how well intended. If you have those thoughts please don't post them here.

    Thanks xx
  2. EdenZero

    EdenZero New Member

    Hi, SeaShells.

    I haven't had a Near Death Experience before personally, but a friend of mine has had one before. Thankfully, she wrote it down and submitted it to an online archive. The punctuation was kind of hit-or-miss, so I just edited that a bit, but otherwise, here's what she described:

    As I'm sure you can tell from the account, she is very religious. Different people tend to have very different NDEs, and although they share many elements (the "light" at the end of the tunnel, visitations from deceased family members, a "barrier" that cannot be crossed, communication without speaking, viewing one's body), there tend to be slight differences depending on that person's religious background.

    I had a few instances of very severe depression in my younger years as well. In my time, I would often fantasize about my death, how others would react, etc. I believed that life as a whole was bitter and pointless, and being an only child and spending most of my high school years in self-imposed seclusion didn't help much. I even went so far as to plan out my death at one point, believing that nobody cared about me and I wouldn't be missed.

    When I started reading about Near Death Experiences, that started to change. I started when I found a book in the library called Life After Life. I read it, and from that moment onward, I became very intrigued. I started to do a bit of research, and as I read more of them, life became far more precious to me.

    Websites that I think have some good accounts are:

    http://www.near-death.com/ - Probably the most comprehensive database of Near Death Experiences on the web. There are a great deal of personal accounts as well as pages for individual trends in Near Death Experiences. In particular, there's one entire section that's devoted to the Suicide component of Near Death Experiences when you scroll to the middle of the page on the right. If you're interested in suicide NDEs, give that a look.

    http://www.nderf.org/ - A very large database of Near Death Experience stories. They have a section devoted to "Notable NDEs", accessible through the sidebar, that are very frequently updated. Otherwise, it's pretty straightforward.

    http://www.iands.org/ - Rather large database of Near Death Experience stories. Also has tidbits of research from some of those currently researching it. I still like the above ones more, but this might be worth a look.

    I hope that helped. If you have any questions or further concerns, feel free to ask - it's what we're here for.
  3. SeaShells

    SeaShells Member

    Thank you so much EdenZero. I really appreciate this response. I'm in that frozen place where logically I know I'm keeping everyone out, that they love and don't want to hurt me but they do just being here. It's really rough. I'm trying to get through it though. A friend of mine suicided on my mothers birthday last year and it had a big impact. I often wonder where he is and while the very worst times in my life have been when I've chosen to stop believing there is anything else when we die, I worry that there's nothing and he's just... gone. While I'm glad he's no longer living his life of confusion and pain, it's so sad to see all of his friends and family who are lost and devastated. In my dreams he visits. Sometimes as an adult, and sometimes as the 14 year old I knew all that time ago and he tells me his pain is over and hugs and life is nice there you know? Sometimes, this planet seems so difficult, and we humans seem split into those in pain, those who have reached fairly high levels of peace (they seem to be a small minority) and the big corporations who seem to be bent on destroying our planet and everyone on it. I try not to think about it but once you know, you can't unknow.

    While I'm not religious I can appreciate your friends post very much. I'll check out these sites too.

    This was a bit of a ramble. Sorry about that. It's time to eat and I get a little unclear at that time.

    Have a lovely day. <3
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