Have you had that time in life, where you are spending time making 'final arrangements'? When you feel your life is essentially over. Maybe you dream about it, or you feel so sure of your plan that you feel nothing can stop you. Maybe you start to engulf in self harm? What changed for you? Was there a person, or situation that changed? Did you just eventually feel better? Something else? How long did you feel that? I have been there for 3 years.