Have you written you suicide note? (may be triggering)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Neverhappyalwayssad, May 18, 2009.

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  1. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Well I just finished mine. All edited perfectly, 550 words. One would think what someone would have to say at the end of it would be like writing a book. But 550 words is all I have to say. 550 words is all I can come up to help people understand the pain I was going through. Though I don't plan on doing it today or tommorow I felt like I needed to write it. Anyone else have their suicide note ready to go when it's time?
  2. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    Yes... I have multiple notes written... to diff people. No idea how many words I have used... but I DO have a few letters/emails written, and ready to go if I make the decision.

    I actually came very close last night to printing/emailing those letters and saying my final goodbyes... but I talked myself out of it. But the letters are ready to go, just in case!
  3. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    Oh my, I long ago lost count. Far too many nights where I'd edit and overhaul my note. I've probably produced >15
  4. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    If I count 'edits' & 'revisions', I've probably written 30 or 40. But actual FINAL DRAFTS, I have 5 I think... for 5 different people. But no matter what, 2 are the most important!
  5. Shi

    Shi Active Member

    I never wrote a suicide note and I dont think I will ever write one. It would not make sense. They don't want to understand. I give so many hints and I talk about death so often and my parents still think it's rubbish and ridiculous.

    My death would be the suicide note I would leave behind, because it would tell them more than a thousand words.
  6. CCK

    CCK Well-Known Member

    Not specifically... Though if I did it'd just contain the location of my journal on my hard drive and the password to open it.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    No Notes!! I would just end it.. The notes wouldn't matter anyhow because my family would be pissed with nowhere to vent there anger with me.. I doubt that they would even show up for the funeral..In there eyes it would be the final straw to show what a looser I am..
  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I have one really long note. Like 5 pages long. I just kept adding to it with each attempt. It's really quite a record of how I was feeling at that time.
  9. KJAB

    KJAB Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It's a startling fact that the majority of people who commit suicide don't leave a note?
    I will definitely leave a note. What's the point otherwise? Surely you have to at least explain yourself? My brother killed himself and left no note and I could never understand it (why he didn't leave a note, not the suicide, I even suspect someone found a note and destroyed it). Why not just help people who are left behind a little? If he had said, look, I'm tired fighting please don't waste time worrying about guilt and all the rest of the crap etc, then it would at least have been no harm?
    I intend to write a note which explains clearly that I believe my family will be better off (financially and practically), with greater hopes for themselves for their futures when I'm finished fighting, which hopefully will be very very soon. Also will write a note for people I hate who have been part of my reasons, just so they know to keep quiet. If you don't write the note, they could possibly show up at your funeral spoofing about how nice you were. Now wouldn't that be the ultimate insult?
  10. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I'm not going to write one.

    My family doesn't deserve to know why.
  11. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    I had one the first time. Since then I've lost it or destroyed it. I don't remember. I haven't written one since. Notes seem like they're just a 'See What You Made Me Do' polemic and I don't blame anybody else for the way I feel. If I do ever really commit suicide, it will be because of what's inside of me, and that belongs to me.
  12. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Well for mine, its trying to get people to realize it was my decision and that my family did everything they could do for me. Only reason I'm still alive is im so afraid im gonna ruin someone else's life with my suicide. I really can't hurt someone, really don't want to. I lovem my family, so in my note im trying to get them to blame me, not themselves for what Im going to do.
  13. Chuckdawg

    Chuckdawg Member

    At one point in time I did type one up, for me though, it's not a blame / hate thing. I basically just wanted to just do it somewhere far away where no one would ever find me, would ever know. That's probaly not possible to do, but it's something to think about for me. :unsure:
  14. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    Joshua Slocum has always been one of my heros.
  15. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I've written several...then figured I could never get it exactly right and finally settled on a combination of the first ones. I gave a sealed copy to each member of my family and an attorney (for my paltry posessions). Written on the outside is "TO BE OPENED IN THE EVENT OF MY DEATH, ACCIDENTAL OR OTHERWISE".

    The attorney just nodded, like he was pretty sure what it was, but my family acted like they knew it was a suicide note and were like "O.K., whatever...here he is with the suicide shit again!".
  16. walkin

    walkin Active Member

    I have.
    Its like a diary/ suicide note
    It is one page long
    it ends sadly with a sam hunt poem
  17. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    i have writen my last good byes once. it just tore me up doing it but at that time i had a date set and a time and a plan, everything. i was 'disturbed'.

    i am glad i was disturbed, as i wouldnt be here and have experienced what i have exerienced since then, but the thought never leaves me and i have come close a few times to re-writing them, i know that if i do that would be that.
  18. tired82

    tired82 Well-Known Member

    I wrote one a few months ago, and carried it with me for a while. In a strange way, I want someone to find it, yet I worry about the consequences of someone accidentally reading it.

    It did help me realize what caused so much pain, now that I'm somewhat better. But I'll likely start a new one to address the current situation.
  19. Help me please

    Help me please Well-Known Member

    I wrote one a year or two ago, it's on a jump drive somewhere. They'll find it if they need to.
  20. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I wrote several. Whenever I end up showing my family they always had the same reaction: I'm just over thinking. OF course I spent time thinking about why I was going to kill myself :laugh:

    Overall, there's no point. If you die, then you're dead and your family and friends will think what they will. You're nothing if you die and your opinions are disregarded like you wouldn't believe. Check out a suicide survivor site.
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