Haven't been feeling great

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by captainstan, Dec 28, 2010.

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  1. captainstan

    captainstan Member

    This has been an ongoing battle for who knows how long. I have been suffering from depression since my early teens (now 26) and I have seen a therapist in the past. The last time I saw my therapist was in July (was unable to continue due to insurance problems). I thought I was doing well for a while but I believe that I am now worse off than I was before seeing my therapist. I haven't attempted suicide yet, but I have self harmed 3 times since October. Day by day it seems to be getting worse and I am becoming more afraid of what I might do. I am losing more and more interest in everything that I am doing and people that are in my life. I continually think about just ending it all multiple times a day. The reason why I am even reaching out online is because I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone that I know about it. My wife would just be worried and it would cause problems, and non of my friends would understand. I am reaching out now because last night I could not get to sleep...I just kept coming up with more plans on how to do it and when I would do it. I woke up today and had the same thoughts. I don't really know what i am asking for. I guess I just needed to get some of this off my chest...
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    welcome. can you call your therapist and find out if they have a sliding scale? maybe you can pay yourself. if you had a good relationship it would probably be worth it, even though insurance won't pay. also wanted to ask, are you taking any medication for your depression? if not i recommend it. if you are, you might contact your doctor about getting your medication changed because it has stopped working. again, welcome. hope you stick around and keep posting. we're a very supportive community here, get to know us.
     
  3. captainstan

    captainstan Member

    I talked to her about it before services stopped...she didn't offer anything in regards to a sliding scale...even though she doesn't I'm really not that disappointed....I mean i appreciated what she helped me with...but I was never really sold on her method (CBT) I just have doubts that I will ever feel actually happy...like long term happy..like a normal person....im on anti depressants and i believe that getting the dosage upped would help some
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Stan,
    Did your therapist teach you coping skills and the difference between cognitive distortions?? Maybe you can use them to help guide you.. I would definitely tell your doctor that your meds aren't helping.. It took me six years to find the right combination of meds.. I wish you all the best..
     
  5. captainstan

    captainstan Member

    she did but im having a really hard time using those coping skills with what im having problems with
     
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