Havent been feeling very good lately. possible trigger?

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jane doe, Jun 19, 2012.

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  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    Hey most of you probably dont know me, but im a member here since a very long time. This place literally saved my life more than once.
    Im here today trying to cope with the urge. Ive been "clean" for over two years but lately im feeling so down you know? like today i was helping one of my students with her webcam and saw myself and i was a monster, it was awful, i had almost forgotte why i didnt look at mirrors anymore even people say im pretty when they dont need to, but gosh, i feel im a monster. i also feel kinda unsuccessful at college because i cant get myself to study, i just need to procrastinate it over and over, and even though i passed most of my exams, i failed at one subject and i feel like im stucked there forever, even though i know im not. The urge is back, i didnt think i would feel it again after all this time but its there, my arms are burning, im crawling out of my skin and i wanna cry but at the same time i wanna stop feeling pity for myself. i feel in a whirlwind of sadness that cant go away. this is so silly, i cant even understand why im feeling like this because none of my problems are real problems, i feel stupid for posting this but i need to get this out, i need to control the urge.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i remember you I am sorry you were triggered hun but you are not a monster hun and you have worked so hard to stay clean please hun reach out to someone you trust and talk to them call a councillor for addiction a sponsor if you have one but don't ever go there again. Your problems are just as impt here as anyones hun and i do hope and pray you get and keep control ok You have moved forward hun keep moving forward hugs.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey long time no see :smile:

    Sorry to hear things are so bad, but we're here for the bad times; so hang in there and keep posting.
    We may not have the answers but we can walk with you through this bad time.
  4. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    I wrote this in anther thread, but thinks this some what apply here

    Think of these 4 things :

    1) Why do you need to hurt yourself? What has made you want to do this?

    2) Have you been in this situation before? What did you do to deal with it then? How did you feel about it then?

    3) What are the things you have done that have helped you to ease the discomfort? What coping mechanisms have you tried? Can you try any more? What else can you do that won’t hurt you?

    4) Will you regret this decision later on? How will you feel about it tomorrow? Do you still really WANT to do it?

    Then check out something called "urge surfing"

    The general gist of urge surfing is where you tell yourself, “If I still want to self harm in 20 minutes, then I can.” In 20 minutes, re-evaluate your position and tell yourself, “If I still want to self harm in 30 minutes, then I can.” Keep doing this. Try to go to sleep – things seem less intense when there is morning sunlight.

    More often than not, this technique will work. It’s worked for me countless times. We get lost in the moment so easily and we think that these feelings, these urges, these cravings are never going to go away. But they will. They will pass, just like every other emotion. We just need to give it some space and give it some time, and accept it for what it is. It is a craving. We don’t need to act on it just yet.

    Urge surfing is a mindfulness technique – you can learn more about it or go into more depth here:

    http://www.mindfulness.org.au/URGE SURFING.htm

    You can do it, hun!! Stay strong!! :hug:
  5. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    thank you guys! i just needed some words of strenght in this moment, I dont know what triggered me this time you know? its been so long since the last time. im still handeling this urge, its been on and off for the past two days, but ive coped with it so far, i was hoping to read something to keep me strong and i did, thanks to you guys. Ima be around for as long as i have this urge and in the meantime ill try to help others, which has always kept me strong in times like this.
  6. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    :hug: I hope you feel better soon!! Take care of yourself.
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