Haven't been here in ages...thought I'd quit (*trig*)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Crimson_Remorse, Jan 20, 2010.

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  1. Crimson_Remorse

    Crimson_Remorse Active Member

    Man..haven't posted at SF in ages..

    Here I was thinking I'd quit & all - finally kicked the cutting nearly 10 months ago..admittedly I've still been hitting & such, but not crossing the threshold where I know I'd bruise...you know? No permanent harm, just enough to take the edge off, give me something to focus on. Even threw out my blades when I quit this last time.

    So, how on earth does a person go from doing "ok" to realising the obsession has crept up again & you can't make it go away this time; and then you realise one night that you're dismantling certain objects to get at the sharp bits....and you're not even sure for a minute why there's blood on your fingers....

    How the F*** does that happen?? I can't afford to go back there, physically or mentally. Geez.

    Please, has this happened to anyone else? How do you survive without getting dragged back??

    (As a side note, I love the new smileys here..lol.)
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It does happen. Relapses are frustrating as hell, but they're normal. How did you stop cutting the last time?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just look at it as that a mishap an unfortunate step backwards but it does not have to happen again. What is good you are able to catch it and stop it go back to the other coping mechanisms now. Keep posting reaching out for support but know everyone has slip ups now just move forward again okay take care.
  4. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    ... i went from 3 months without it... now I'm back i feel like crap. it sucks to relapse, but it happens. we just need to reset the clock and go on counting like we did before we gave in.

    3 days and counting
  5. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I've had 3 major relapses since I decided to stop 2 years ago... It does happen.

    Though I haven't cut since October, I'm still fighting the urge from time to time.
  6. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    I'm here for the same reason right now. I was clean for about a month and a half, and have just started back up. I know how you feel, my friend.

    In my view, it's just natural for something like this to happen. For myself, I turned to cutting whenever I've had problems in my life. And as of lately, I've been under alot of stress and generally unhappy. My depression has crept back up on me, and so forth. So I've been turning to cutting to make me feel better.

    I don't know if it's like this for you, too. But just know your not alone. This is natural in my view, and a relapse isn't as bad as it seems. Self harm is something that will always stay with me, maybe you too. But it doesn't have to run your life, and you don't have to submit to it. It's fight able. So keep fighting it.
  7. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We all fall off the horse, so to say, and have to pick up the pieces from the ruptures we have in life...you found the strength before and you will again...do you have someone (professional) to talk to about this? Finding a voice is quite helpful in dealing with SH issues...big hugs, J
  8. xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx

    xXxBrOKenWiNgSxXx Well-Known Member

    i went 6 months with out cutting once, was so proud and shit and then everything got F****d up, that was 2 years ago. i am still trying to stop. find something else that helps x i hope your ok? *hugsU*
  9. princezzshan

    princezzshan New Member

    i've been having the same feelings...i havent cut in years...but im so depressed lately and all i can think about it just wanting to cut again..i thought i was doing okay, but im not lately. I just feel the urges again to start cutting ..ugh :(
  10. Ezza121

    Ezza121 Active Member

    The same thing has happened to me....I quite for about 4-6 months and was feeling very good. Except for the fact that everyday i had to look at the scars all over my wrists and it reminds me of what i've done. Lately i just couldn't stand just looking at them, i had to start cutting again and in which case i did :(
    It feels like an addiction....
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