Havent been here since 2008. I am relapsing.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by -GirlxNextxDoor-, Jan 27, 2014.

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  1. -GirlxNextxDoor-

    -GirlxNextxDoor- Well-Known Member

    As the title says i haven't been on here since 2008! (My how its changed)
    Having a bad night tonight :( There is no problem//depression i can pin point this onto but My cravings for self harming are niggling in my head. I had a relapse a few weeks ago. But i haven't done it properly since i was 16, I slowed at the point of 17 and stopped, i am now 21. I haven't been happy go lucky and i have had the thoughts of relapsing but managed most of the time to push those thoughts aside but tonight i cannot. Will i ever get out of this? :( I really want to cut, But there is no where on my body that my fiance wont see :( That is the only thing that is stopping me. I can put my hands in boiling water but i usually need to see that physical mark on my body, see that wound and blood and tend to it. That seems to be the only thing to make this go away. I need a release. Oh god i really need a release from this. Its been fricking years since i felt the urges this bad.
    I want to get past this. I don't want to have this NEED to self harm anymore. I am a adult i should be past this! :(
    I remember this site used to help me alot, so i kind of have fled here for some security.
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry it is such a tough time - can you talk to your fiance about what you are feeling? As a previous cutter you know full well it will be a very very temporary "fix" and you will just feel 10x worse after and i might suggest you do not sound like you need to feel that much worse tomorrow than you already feel now.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What has triggered this need to cause you to self harm hun too much stress perhaps in your life. You know it is an urge and if you can replace that urge with something else it will pass ok When you feel urge to harm self to the opposite do something that will bring you comfort wrap yourself in a blanket buy yourself something that will bring you joy something small ever favorite tea or treat but do something kind for you ok hugs
     
  4. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Welcome back -GirlxNextxDoor-! 2008 was one of the worst years of my life, too...so I can relate. :) Don't be too hard on yourself or feel too badly over your situation. Depression doesn't need a good reason to keep us company. CEO's of fortune 500 companies get sick. Famous people, etc. Hope you can get some help. -Mr. B :D
     
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