Is this weird? I guess it could be because of the alcohol.. but when I go out and actually enjoy myself it always ends with me feeling worse.. maybe it's because I experience a few hours of feeling great, only for it to end when I come back home and again have nothing for a few weeks till I'm invited to go do something again. I have no friends so only do stuff with my family.. and of course they have their own lives/friends, so while they can then go off and do other stuff with other people that's it for me. Been thinking of just turning into an alcoholic and going to bars on my own till I end up in a ditch somewhere. At least I'll die either enjoying myself or too drunk to care.