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Having a hard time keeping sane.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Concave, May 16, 2010.

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  1. Concave

    Concave Active Member

    Friday a good friend of mine overdosed on < Mod edit Hazel: Methods > and tried to kill himself. Another friend and I found him a block away from his house at a gas station passed out in his car. We called an ambulance and stuff. The day it happened I felt that suicide was definately not an option. But here just 2 days later I'm feeling suicidal again. I know how horrible it made me feel not knowing if my friend was ok, but my demons have crept back and I really don't care anymore. I play out my suicide in my head over and over, and its to the point now where thinking about it gives me peace of mind. Its scaring me how non chalant I'm becoming about suicide. I need help! :sad::blub:
    Last edited by a moderator: May 17, 2010
  2. tottenhamhotspur

    tottenhamhotspur Active Member

    I'm starting to feel the same way. It is scary when the thought of death and removing yourself is the only thing that makes you feel at ease- and I'm sure that you, too, have to have some reservations about it. It's like having to leave a place you don't want to but have to.
    Don't give up easy. Make sure you at least give some of your options a chance. Get some therapy, meds- whatever might work.
    Just know you aren't alone in trying to work through your problems.
    Personally, I'm not a great giver of advice. But I can let you know that there are people here for ya, and there are many people here who can give you some advice.
    Stick in there!
  3. She

    She Member

    Oh snap. I was just thinking the same thing. Thinking about killing myself even helps me get to sleep sometimes; should it be so comforting!? Oh well.

    I also second tottenhamhotspur about you not being alone. You can always take advantage of talking to me, I know how shitty it is when you feel alone.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    There are many of us who have experienced the calm before commiting.. I am on the verge myself, but the members here have made me stop and think.. They have assured me that I am not alone in feeling lonely..You should see a pdoc and get on meds to help stabalise you..You don't have to battle this alone..If they want you in the hospital then go..They will get you straight on meds and help you set up a therapist..Good Luck!!
  5. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    One thing to think about is how awful you felt when your friend tried to hurt themselves, and remember that you would be putting other people through that.

    I've also been at the place where "the plan" is the only thing that will calm me. Maybe it's just a distraction, and maybe another distraction would also work? I find that sometimes the brain is just on overload, and it needs something calming to take away the jumbled thoughts. This may sound silly, but for myself anymore I will lay down, and start planning a house. I completely design it from top to bottom, even the landscaping. It's not because I want or need to have this house, it's just something very structured for my mind to dwell on. And I have found this to be as calming as the suicide thoughts, so I wonder if it is just a way of distracting our minds until we can feel calmer. Maybe there's something else very structured that you could think about, a house, a trip, or anything that would calm your mind down a bit.

    Please see a therapist, or do whatever you need to do to start feeling better.
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