First of all thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm a 22 year old with a lot of self defeating thoughts. I don't feel like I've accomplished anything in my life. I have this complex where I look at myself through other peoples eyes and I see a useless idiot. Sometimes I wish I were dead just so I can remain on this earth as a memory and a friendly spirit to my family, rather than a talentless person just fading away. Thoughts of suicide visit me sporadically. Though I havent yet attempted, I feel suicide is around the corner, because I'm a compulsive and emotionally unstable person.