I think about my tinnitus all day at work. All I can think about is ending it. I don't want to learn anything new, I don't talk to anybody. I thought that if I had a distraction, if I contributed to society, that I'd be better. But I'm not. In fact, I'm worse. Luckily it was a temp job and it's ending soon, but my boss actually wanted me to stay. I told her no, that I was too unhealthy to work (I also have interstitial cystitis as well as depression and anxiety. The worst part about this is that my mother works at the same company and wants me to work there with her but when I try to explain, she doesn't want to hear it. She thinks this is her fault, but it's not. Although, my parents did suggest I stop taking ADs (after 9 years of doing so), and I followed suit, stopping them three months ago only to now contract two horrible diseases, tinnitus and interstitial cystitis. Too bad they are not life-threatening. I've never been a go-getter. I did try for four years to get a voiceover career going, because acting is all I'm good at and all I've ever wanted to do. I wanted to do voices in cartoons, videogames, and anime. But I spent all this money on equipment, a teacher, and online services and it wasn't worth it. I never wanted to do anything, really, just sit and watch anime or play videogames. I can't do those things in peace anymore. The T just follows me everywhere I go. I told my mom I am unable to work yet she still nudges suggestions my way, like working at her place or another collection agency, or somewhere. But I don't want to. I don't want to do anything anymore.