Please bear with me this may be long. So I'm 21 years old. I'm a diagnosed rapid cycling bi-polar and I suffer from anxiety and depression. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts and Ive been on a cornucopia of medicines to treat the bi-polar disorder. Today though I think I'm having a mental breakdown. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry all night and all day for that matter. I was having an amazing day and then I got scratched by a stray cat. That sent my stress levels and anxiety though the roof. Then my husband was a complete and utter d**k because he "doesn't feel good." Poor baby right? He pushed off taking me to urgent care to make sure I got a rabies shot and have the scratches looked at because he wanted to reach a check point in his video game. Then to top it off everyone around me today just made me feel as if their lives would be better off without me. I'm like I could catch something and die from this feral cat that I didn't even want anything to do with and I almost feel like everyone would be better off anyway. Either way long story short I feel like crap. My body is exhausted but I can't sleep. My thoughts are racing. My heart is beating a mile a minute and I can't decide if I wanna cry or go to a hospital before my heart beats outta my chest. I don't want to work I don't want to talk. I don't want to do anything but curl up in a ball and die. I have never felt so alone in my entire life. Please tell me if I'm having a mental breakdown or over reacting. If I am having a mental breakdown what should I do?