having a not so good weekend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lilella44, Aug 17, 2008.

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  1. lilella44

    lilella44 Well-Known Member

    im 16 and have been battling depression and self harm for too long. i've been thinking about suicide all weekend, when i was at the footy, with my boyfriend, while shopping in the city... the whole time.
    i've covered up my feelings pretty well these past few days. after everything thats happened lately i dont want to put any more stress on my mum.
    i've just moved back to my old school, a private girls school.
    now that im a day girl there and not a boarder, im finding it hard to fit in. i feel inadequate, almost sometimes like i shouldnt be there.
    i've got social anxiety, and am constantly worrying about whether others are looking or talking or thinking about me.
    im sick of talking to a psych, and she's like the 7th one i've seen. i thought prozac was making a difference but maybe its not.
    i so badly want to die but couldnt bear the pain i would inflict on my family and people i know if and when i did die.

    i feel so so depressed and alone deep inside. im always tired even though i sleep all night for a good 8 or 9 hours.

    i havent cut for a couple weeks, and i so badly want to do it, hoping that might relieve some of the pain i have right now.
     
  2. jamie20m

    jamie20m Well-Known Member

    Your so young and have a future to live for. Shouldent you give yourself a few more years on this planet before you think of suicide? Try hold on. Talk more in here.
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello lilella44,
    I agree that you are to young to be commiting. There is so much for you to experience. Don't cut yourself short!! You have more going for you than most people.
    I am glad you have decided to continue school. Keep your problems to your self. You can let them out when you aren't around anyone. You don't want to give any ammo to the bullies of your school!!
    Does your mom know about your illness? Maybe you should sit her down and have a serious talk. She deserves to know!! I hope you find a therapist you can talk to. Well take care of yourself and Stay Safe!!!!
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi lilella. Please don't contemplate suicide hun. It sounds like your life is going pretty good thus far. Social anxiety is more common than you might think. Many people have it to some extent. I'm pretty sure that I have it too, somewhat, and I'm a teacher. Private schools are good because you don't have to worry about the opposite sex, and you can focus on your schoolwork. Talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling. Don't keep it all bottled up. :hug:
     
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