having a panic attack right now

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by brittini, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. brittini

    brittini Well-Known Member

    I'm at my boyfriends house laying on his bed in his room, in the dark using my cell to make this, crying, can't breathe too well at all and trying not to throw up. He's still at work. His whole family is here but I don't wanna go to any of them because I don't want the attention so I decided to come here to make this and see if it helps any. The reason I'm freaking out so much is because tomorrow I'm hanging out with a VERRRRRY new friend; its my boyfriends friends' girlfriend and I JUST met her yesterday, barely even talked to her because I was soooo nervous. Well, she's wanting me to go with her to look at apartments and so we can get to know eachother. I'm excited because I really don't have any friends because of this stupid panic disorder but at the same time I REEEEEEEEALLY wanna just back out of it. I don't drive or have my license so I can't make a get away if I need or want to and I have noone to call for a ride to go home, ill have to just wait til my boyfriend gets off work which is usually VERY late at night. I feel sooooo horrible and don't know what to do. I don't wanna start throwing up in front of her. I know its only for a day but like I said, I have no friends and never go do anyrhing because of how bad this panic disorder is but at the same time I just wanna be normal and have friends and go do things. I feel soooo horrible, imy chest is cramping up really badly right now and I can barely breathe. Uggggh!!!!
     
  2. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    I hope you're doing alright brittini. I too have struggled with panic disorder in the past, and to this day I have horrible social anxiety which has severely limited my ability to make friends. I really desperately want to make friends... but I feel like I mess things up with my anxiety... and I do want to back out, all the time. I often do.

    But I'm grateful for the times I haven't, because I was able to make a few friends. Some people might get frustrated if you tend to ditch out on them due to panic (I do), and they might feel uncomfortable and not know what to do if they witness an attack (I certainly feel like I've made people very uncomfortable around me). That's their problem.

    I've run across at least one person who has stuck around nonetheless and I think you will too. By the way, I still struggle with anxiety when I see her. But I think it gets a bit better the better I get to know her.

    I hope this gives you some hope. A few years ago I had a bad case of panic, and now I've reduced it to more mild anxiety attacks. Still humiliating, not as scary. A few years ago I couldn't make friends. But I've made a few.

    Anyways, I don't know if this'll help or not but I hope your feeling better. Have you tried practicing meditation or deep breathing? Good luck tomorrow and have courage :hugtackles:
     
  3. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your anxiety... but as elvinchild has said... it is their problem if they get uncomfortable with it... i dated a girl a few years back that i later found out to have panic attacks... i didnt think of her any differently as i understood it is a medical condition, when people get uncomfortable it just shows their ignorance on the subject. Good luck :hug:
     
  4. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    Okay, first thing to remember is to breathe. That's not hyperventilate! But breathe... in for a long count of five, hold it for a count of five, then let it out for a count of eight. This keeps you from hyperventilating.

    Second thing to remember - you've been through this before and it hasn't killed you, so it's not going to kill you now. You're just fine. Its only adrenaline going nuts and it has its place, even if its not exactly the right place at the moment. Its normal. You're going to be fine.

    As for going out, I truly sympathize with your mixed feelings, as I go through it continually myself. I wish I had an answer, but the only thing that I keep doing is to make myself do the things I'm terrified of in order to prove to myself that these fears are unfounded and damnit if I'm going to let the panic control me. But this has taken a year of work without drugs to get to even where I can go out. Its worth it in the long run. I'm sorry I don't have any great answers, but you're not crazy and you're not alone. :hug:
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hate when this happens too but slow breathing does help alot. I think telling this girl too that you do have some anxiety wouldn't hurt so she is aware your frightened. I hope all goes well remember slow breathing good luck