I'm at my boyfriends house laying on his bed in his room, in the dark using my cell to make this, crying, can't breathe too well at all and trying not to throw up. He's still at work. His whole family is here but I don't wanna go to any of them because I don't want the attention so I decided to come here to make this and see if it helps any. The reason I'm freaking out so much is because tomorrow I'm hanging out with a VERRRRRY new friend; its my boyfriends friends' girlfriend and I JUST met her yesterday, barely even talked to her because I was soooo nervous. Well, she's wanting me to go with her to look at apartments and so we can get to know eachother. I'm excited because I really don't have any friends because of this stupid panic disorder but at the same time I REEEEEEEEALLY wanna just back out of it. I don't drive or have my license so I can't make a get away if I need or want to and I have noone to call for a ride to go home, ill have to just wait til my boyfriend gets off work which is usually VERY late at night. I feel sooooo horrible and don't know what to do. I don't wanna start throwing up in front of her. I know its only for a day but like I said, I have no friends and never go do anyrhing because of how bad this panic disorder is but at the same time I just wanna be normal and have friends and go do things. I feel soooo horrible, imy chest is cramping up really badly right now and I can barely breathe. Uggggh!!!!