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Having a really shitty day.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TooShyToScream, Mar 25, 2011.

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  1. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I took 5mg of ativan to try to feel better. I keep having paranoid thoughts that my fiancee doesn't love me, even though he's said it like 10 times this morning. I keep thinking he's annoyed with me and wants to leave and he says that couldn't be further from the truth. But I'm just scared and it's really getting to me. I know it's just my paranoia and I need to try to ignore it, but it's really hard. No matter what he says, I can't stop being scared. I need some shots of alcohol.
  2. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Can you get your mind focused on something else, maybe try reading a book or watching a movie?
  3. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Well I feel a bit better. I'm trying to do laundry, but I'm like half drunk half high right now. But hey whatever works. At least the paranoid thoughts left my head for the most part.
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    I guess thats good, just be careful not to take the self medicating to far tonight, you dont want to wake up hating yourself for it, but glad your feeling better.

    Laundry is evil, if I ever win the lottery that would be one chore I would give away. On average, I do 6-10 loads a week, and theres only 4 of us. WTF
  5. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Your still struggling with the insecurity and I doubt shots of alcohol will provide anything other than a chance to forget for a while. Mixing booze with 'bennies' or Valium, I guess some people use this to cope - but be very careful as the combination can be lethal.

    Trust me, a man who tells you he loves you 10 times in one day likely does love you. Else he'd be somewhere else and with someone else.

    I know your fighting the blues as it were, but be careful you don't drive a good man away by keeping too many things to yourself.

    As stated, read a book, catch up on some decent TV or a movie. Take nice hot shower, tidy your room, do things that don't need your brain to go on overdrive.

    Its not good to get caught up with one train of thought. Takes a few second to get up off the sofa, and once you potter about you'll hopefully get into Spring Cleaning Mode.

    Good luck as ever!
  6. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    A friend of the family apparently won 750,000 last night for the PA match 6 lotto. I am jealous as hell.
  7. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I'm doing as many chores as I can. Being slightly drunk just helps give me the motivation to do them. I know he loves me and I know its wrong when I don't feel like he does. But I can't help how my brain works. But either way, self-medicating made me want to take care of the entire house so that's not so bad.
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Wow, thats awesome for them, Im jealous to.

    I woke up to snow today, in 3 days it will be April and its snowing. Oh how I wish I was back in Florida.

    Hope your days are treating you better.
  9. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Don't be. Apparently he was drunk and lied lol. We found this out a day later.
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