Having a rough night

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Loco72, Oct 20, 2008.

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  1. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    I'm in a bad place tonight....I'm just sitting here watching the blood drip of my leg...took a klonipin and a glas of rum, maybe that wil make me sleepy and the thougths will stop...
     
  2. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    Whats going on Loco? Why tonight?
     
  3. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    Just everything that I allowed to happen over the weekend is making me crazy. I slet with someone just because I could not say no and it's eating me up inside..
     
  4. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    What do you mean you could not say no...was it a friend or an ex?
     
  5. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    it was a friend...I'm a lesbian and it was my best guy friend...we had both been drinking and I knew it was a bad idea but just coudln't say no...
     
  6. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member


    another thing freaking me out is about a weak ago i had a dream I was being raped...by this same guy friend
     
  7. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    O.K....if you are gay, why did you even want to sleep with a guy? Even if he was your friend...are you bi? Or jusy really confused?
     
  8. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    the whole point is I didn't want to sleep with him....but i was too ddrunk/sad/lonely/stupid to say no.
     
  9. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    Okay sorry, I get it now...why are you so lonely? Will you still be able to keep your relationship going with your guy friend?
     
  10. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    moved here from a different city...only knew 2 people, made he mistake of falling in love with one of them and ruined our whole friendship. Sh still tries to be there for me but can't be like I need...now I knkow no one and i'm all alone.
     
  11. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    Wow, I know how hard it can be moving to a new place, I've done it a dozen times, do you mind if I ask how old you are? What kind of social situations are you in? I really can't imagine being in Alabama, where did you move from?
     
  12. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    I'm 28....I moved here from TN, but originally from SOuth Africa, so I'm real far from home and family. I have work and I try and do all the work social stuff, but not really making friends there...
     
  13. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    I actually got to this site because of the loss of my family. It can be very lonely in a new place with few family and friends. Are you still in touch with your family? How long have you been cutting? Have you ever sought counciling or meds?
     
  14. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    Yes, i still have contact with my family...see them once a year maybe. I cut the first time 8 years ago, but i'd go 9 months between fazes...the last year or 2 have been more often, but i did go 9 months before this weekend. I'm biplar and on meds but having trouble afording it and so i;m not taking it like it was prescribed but going to see a psych in 2 weeks so hopefully we can get that sorted out...maybe. I've not been o therapy for about a year till last week, had to find a new therapist becasue of the move so we'll have to see how it goes...
     
  15. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    Well its wonderful that you do have contact with your family...no problems with them and your sexuality? And duh...you said you had taken a Klonapin with your glass of rum. I don't really have first hand experience with cutting but I do know how you can go months thinking things are okay, but they are really not. What the hell do you do in Alabama anyway?
     
  16. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    well, they seem ok with it, don't really talk about it. I live in Huntsville which is considered the IT capital in the SOuth East, and I'm a computer Programmer...so here for work...
     
  17. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    Okay lets get back to the friend...Is he from work are do you just know him socially? Will you still be friends?
     
  18. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    I know him back from when I lived in TN...he drove 2 hours to come see me. If I can get over being freaked out we'll still be friends...I know he wants to be.
     
  19. Motogirl

    Motogirl Active Member

    What do you think the dream meant? Did it have any significance or influence?
     
  20. Loco72

    Loco72 Well-Known Member

    at the time I had the dream I thought it was just an indication of how out of control I felt. I don't know if it had any influence..i dunno
     
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