having a rush is awesome.

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Hdhsjsjsz, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. Hdhsjsjsz

    Hdhsjsjsz Well-Known Member

    im 22 years old, i have never ever felt alive in my fucking life EVER after what happened yesterday.

    As you can see my nickname, i felt like that for 7 years since i had my ex around, as a friend, as a gf, as a future fiance etc. she wanted to fuck the relation up by disrespecting me, she knows how to piss me off, she hangs up the phone when i call, she knows that this is the most disrespectful thing she can ever do to me, and i always ALWAYS tell her to never ever do it. yet she did, i tell her even if shes busy, to fucking silent the phone, not hang up.

    so, i called her 4 days ago, she didnt pick up and didnt call back, i call back the next day, and she fucking disrespects me again by hanging up. i felt a rush that i have NEVER EVER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR felt, i smsed her and told her shes a disrespectful shit and id be a bastard if i EVER called her again.
    she called, and i hung up on her, just to let her feel how shitty it is to get to my melting point. she replied back with the same, telling me her mom had a stroke, and she has better things to worry about at the moment.

    Yes i did feel kinda guilty, but i know shes lying, i know she likes to make me feel guilty and sorry, but my mom had a stroke 3 years ago too, i never did hang up, shed call and id answer at the hospital with mom around. sometimes i respect people too much.

    but yesterday was different, i didnt give a fuck, i felt good, i did drugs, yes they are shitty, yes they can put me in prison, yes they are cancer-risky, but i just felt a rush inside of me that i never did, i, had confidence, i, had an awesome time. i got high, my friend s cousin calls, tells hes in a brawl, some fucker was staring at him all the time and wanted trouble, so he tells him wtf he wants, and he got a knife out and threatened to stab him (the guy thats staring).. after that the call happened, i was 99% unconscious of the situation, all i know is i fucking saw my exs face on that dudes face, punched the living shit out of him, dropped him on the ground, and believe it or not, IT FUCKING FELT GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i want more of this, I WANT MORE !!!!

    im just so excited my life is changing, whether its for the better or worse, but i loved what happened yesterday.

    sorry if i blabbered too much, had to let it all out :D :lol!:
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you are feeling a bit better Sadeq but please be careful :hug:
  3. Huw

    Huw Well-Known Member

    I'll be interesting to hear what happens when the guy comes looking for you with some friends. Or they happen to be driving by when you're as high as a kite.

    Watch yer back bro!