Having children, a right or a privilege?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by boo, Oct 11, 2010.

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  1. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    What do you think? I always blame my parents for having me and never got the know how to take care of me. They never taught me a darn thing. Always expecting school would do that job. They don't understand that raising a kid isn't just about providing food.

    Do i hate them? Not at all. They didn't know better i guess. I just feel that having children should be a privilege not a right.
    So many people have kids just for the sake of having kids. The kids end up being badly educated and turn into well... erm a not so productive member of society.

    Parents should be force to get a Parenthood baccalaureat before.

    Sure in some country or back in the day, having more kids would mean more revenue for the family. But that's not entirely true anymore.
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    here in Oz some bright *sarcasm* spark politician decided the government would pay women a 'baby bonus' to have babies.....so you can guess what happened...
    every Tom, dick and Harry are having babies for the money and don't give a hoot about the kids..only the new T.V., etc they can buy with the money.
    I think they should teach parnethood as a subject in schools too...and yes it should be a priveledge not a right to have children.
     
  3. Kemra

    Kemra Well-Known Member

    Definetly a privelage, I love my dad but he left my sister and me to live with an unstable mother who he knew was violent when I was 8 and my sis was 6, never saw him again till I was 14. And at 14 his idea of bonding was to get me drunk every weekend and take me out nightclubbing at 16.. of course I was a teen and didn't complain at the time but what did I know? He's matured now and is a wonderful father to both me and my half-sister (who is 11).

    As for my mom.. she's tried getting in touch recently with the forget and forgive lines after dad rang her after my last suicide attempt left me in a coma.. how do you forgive someone for years of abuse both physical and mental?

    Should be a parenting licence law.
     
  4. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    ok...so our parents sucked.

    But seriously: if there were some kind of parenting test we had to pass to copulate unprotected (there are already many obstacles you need in order to adopt..perhaps not enough? I don't know the system)

    anyway: if there were a test, and it was in the least bit adequately stringent, the majority of us would fail, and the human race would die off.

    There are so many beautiful, intelligent truly magnificent people born to horrendous parents. If we were all born to perfect parents..better parents...we could fantasize all day..it doesn't change the situation..Of course some "bad" parents produce "bad" children...but who's to say who's bad or good?

    My mother was a domestically abused cutter, with chronic depression (a history of eating disorders)and a penchant for maniac (seriously) boyfriends. She is the strongest, most amazing mother one could ever have..
    She would have never passed a freakin exam.
    Plus, I was an accident, she was 21, unmarried...so ... You're going to take away kids from "unfit" parents???

    That's a preposterous notion. Of course, my psychopath, shizo-effective father should have never been a father, but if his shit never happened... I wouldn't have the empathy and emotional intelligence I do today.
    He abused my mother, he stole my bike when I was 8, he traumitized me with verbal abuse, and creepy incestuous manipulations. I despise him, but I love him.

    Lets face it...odds are, if we ever have children, they'll hate us.

    Parenting is a right. Obviously, that right can be impeded upon (rightfully) when a parent is abusive or does something to harm their children.
    But there can be any pre-reqs for parenting.

    I think even the richest, most emotionally stable parent can be damaging...who knows? Everyone has there characteristics that can be detrimental to a child...

    A child raised by two bipolar parents can turn out perfectly fine. A child raised by rich, white suburban parents can kill themselves in adolescence because they're gay and their parents are homophobes (hypotheticals.

    No one can tell who's fit to parent...because no one really is (well...a select few,...it's a rarity)

    I say, all we can do is fight harder to prevent and break the cycles of abuse, and perpetuate love.
     
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