having severe suicidal AND homicidal thoughts and feelings right now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tiredfighter, Dec 12, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tiredfighter

    tiredfighter Well-Known Member

    things have taken a seriously crappy turn tonight, I'm having serious suicidal and homicidal thoughts, mostly the latter and I don't know how to get rid if them.
  2. topper

    topper Well-Known Member

    Homocidal? Like you want to murder someone?
  3. topper

    topper Well-Known Member

    What's happened? There are better ways to deal with things.
  4. tiredfighter

    tiredfighter Well-Known Member

    yes homicidal, I'm just filled with all this rage and anger and have been for a long time, I've hurt people before, people who have wronged me mostly but on more than one occasion I've directed it at the wrong people, I don't WANT these thoughts and feelings but as strange as it sounds visualising how I might take someone who has wronged me's life makes me smile, I figure telling someone about these things rather than ending up on the news for murder is better and seeing as doctors and family don't take me seriously I thought this might help.
  5. Infortunatus

    Infortunatus Guest

    Try to figure out what you are so angry about and settle it in some more appropriate way. Almost anything is better than hurting yourself or someone else. When I start to freak out, having some private time and listening to some favorite music seems to help. Drinking only makes things worse. Just saying what works for me.
  6. DannyBoy

    DannyBoy Well-Known Member

    It's not that unusual.

    When I start having suicidal feelings I'll have a lot of scary thoughts about death and murder.

    It passes though. As I'm not feeling either today.

    You have any meds you can take? If I get real wired up a Benzo like Ativan will help calm me down.
  7. tiredfighter

    tiredfighter Well-Known Member

    normally music works for me too but tonight it's not, alot of the time when I'm feeling like this I go and sit in an abandoned mill not far away and write music aswell but I haven't been able to get there cos of the snow, the thoughts are stronger than they have ever been, I can't shake them and it's tearing my head apart.
  8. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    Hi tiredfighter

    Sorry you feel like this. I think it is not uncommon either as previously said. The fact that you recognise these feelings and don't want to have them shows that you are still thinking rationally in some way and know it is not the right thing to do. So that is the first step to making these feelings go away, you have already made that first step. You have also just made the second step by telling us about these feelings which takes a lot of courage and strength.

    I think the next step would be to tell a trained person face to face who can help you deal with these feeling more and find a way of making them less and even disappear or a way of controlling the thoughts when they arise.

    You have already started the road to recovery all by your self so imagine how much you will achieve with some help from a trained professional :)
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi tiredfighter. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling suicidal and homicidal, but you have to try and control your anger, before something bad happens. Having thoughts of suicide and homicide is really not all that bad, but if you act on these thoughts, then you could be in trouble. There is a member here called cashing_out. He also has anger management issues and I think you guys might get along well. :smile:
  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hello tiredfighter!

    the most important thing is that you don't act on the thoughts.

    for me, it's important to believe that there is such a thing as karma. though I hope for a positive version of karma, where the bad people aren't punished, but where those who a wronged receive compensation.

    maybe you could focus on how you now deserve to have good things come into your life
  11. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    oh, and maybe also see a therapist
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.