Having suicidal thougts and parents not even caring i thin its affecting my psyche

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rallen12, Aug 24, 2012.

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  1. Rallen12

    Rallen12 Member

    So so for some time my pc broke so i have to share it with my mother wouldnt be a big issue but more and more im getting angry about it
    normally i would use it at 19 pm when she gets back from work she takes it to work so 19pm is the only time i have but more and more she is not letting me using now it reached the point its 5 am and she is still on the computer and then she likes to tell her friends that i spend all night on the computer 1 time recently i screamed what did you exept talking to your friends at 5 am in the morning you expect me to do what?"
    but she dosent say i cant use it she lies and says she wil only need it 10 minutes and i get it back at 5 am again she even stopped making lunch and somtimes dinner to be on the pc and yet everyone says that im the pc addict
    i am so angry so sorry about any mistakes and even before she was a bad mother she can't speak she only knows to yell to order around and do nothing

    and it is just making me so angry cause i have a younger sister and she only gets screamed at and she never gets to touche the pc and thats why i get so angry its 15 pm and she is still hungry because so called mommy is still talking to her friends on the pc instead of feeding her daughter

    and i don't know why i get so angry i have never been angry in my life but this just makes me want to kill myself to show her what she didn't do
    and i have been depressed for months now no mother no father

    imma teenager and im thinking about picking up smoking because of the stress
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2012
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Re: Having suicidal thougts and parents not even caring i thin its affecting my psych

    I am sorry for the difficult situation with your mother and that it has cut you off to some extent from your prior distraction of using the computer. I am guessing by age that you are likely in school still. If school has started where you are (or when it soon does if it has not) please go to your guidance counselor and talk to them about some of these iissues, in particular of ways to deal with anger and the stress of your home life. They have a lot of experience in these areas and likely can help if you let them.

    I know it is difficult for you right now to get on the computer but when you can stop in to just rant or to keep us updated on how you are doing, we care.


    Ben
     
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