having to continue covering up...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by justmeonlyme, Feb 4, 2011.

?

do you show self harm scars

  1. yes all the time

    2 vote(s)
    6.1%
  2. some of the time

    5 vote(s)
    15.2%
  3. around certain people

    8 vote(s)
    24.2%
  4. not normally

    9 vote(s)
    27.3%
  5. no i would never ever!!

    9 vote(s)
    27.3%
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  1. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    Ive been doing a lot better with not self harming i still struggle but i'm doing a lot better its got to a point where i no longer want to live in hiding i want to wear short sleeves and not have to worry about been judged lately if i'm with just my 2 closest friends i will just wear short sleeves or around people i don't know but today going back to school after the holidays i was determined not to worry but i ended up leaving my jersey on all day even though it was really hot i don't know whats stopping me well i do its the scars but its like if i can do it around strangers why cant i do it at school it would only be in the common room and in classes there are 15 other students in the common room tops and classes there is less. its not like i have any fresh cuts just a lot of small scars you can hardly see i don't think anyone there would make any comments on it i just don't know i just want to be able to wear what i want when i want i cant even do that at home coz i'm scared of my mum seeing my cuts even though she knows about my self harm i know it would up set her so i keep them covered at home. i'm just really sick of self harm running my life Ive lost my whole teenage hood to self harm and i'm sick of it!! i'm hardly ever self harming anymore but i have to live with it forever even if i do stop i will still have scars even if know one cant really notice them i know there there and if i look u can see them so i think everyone else can see them as well. OK i'm not sure what this post was for just had to get out my frustrations with self harm
     
  2. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Hey emma :hug: I too was afraid, hiding them, it controlling me. It made me sick thinking about being stuck with them forever. Some people are ignorant and think I wanted it, think I wanted the scars and for people to see them. No. Mum was worst, Even when I had finally talked to her after being forced into it she still looks in THAT way. I hide them from her, even though she knows. But i no longer hide them from anyone else. Nothing really happened, the pain of it has ebbed, maybe with meds, maybe just time. Don't be too hard on urself, you will be able to wear short sleeves everywhere in your own time. People don't notice, if they do many are to embarrassed, scared or just don't know what to say. People you know are different to strangers, they see you again and again, and maybe they are more likely to say something, thats how i feel at least. I don't know how many of my friends have seen mine. We don't talk about it if they have. Just keep holding on, waiting, in time the weight of them feels less heavy. They are a part of you now, not something to be ashamed of, they show a struggle you have fought.

    Take care you yourself hun :hug:
     
  3. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    thanks hannah :hug: it just annoys me and i really do hope over time i will just be able to show them and not worry
     
  4. kizzybaby

    kizzybaby Well-Known Member

    have you ever used Dermacolor make up? its for covering up scars, tattoo's etc. you can get it on ebay, and its really very good. and if you dont use fake tan, and you are quite pale, its sometyime shard to cover them with make up, as it never seems white enough to not be obvious? derma color is good for that. or, just using normal foundation, and then talcum powder over the top.... thats good too. xx
     
  5. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    ive always done it on my upper thigh to not have people notice. i only ave shown 2 people. my closest friends. i hate doing it soo much but sometimes i feel like its the only thing i have any control over
     
  6. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    i dont have anyway to buy anything online and im not very good when it comes to make up and tbh i think even with make up i would still feel like people could see them

    i started cutting only on my upper thighs but last summer it got worse and i ending up cutting everywhere and anywhere there was a free peice of skin
     
  7. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Damnit! I voted on the wrong one! I don't normally, if someone asks to see, and I trust them, I show them, but that's it.
     
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