He Believes His Own Bullshit

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Forgotten_Man, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am of course talking about my father. He has decided that he is home sick and wants to come home so he can spend his last good years with his family. I guess that I can appreciate that, I really do not care to be honest. However, then he starts talking about how I am one of the reasons that he is coming back so he can help me. When I heard that I had instant deja vu. Because he said a lot of that stuff well over 15 years ago when he moved near by me before. He said the same thing to me when he moved back to this state when I was in high school. It just makes me sick to hear all this stuff over and over again.

    I can recall another thing that he said to me when my brother was talking about his problems. My father said "look what you get to look forward too" it was one of the funniest things that I have heard in a while. Mainly because thinking about it he has been saying that same thing to me since I was in middle school. My older brother would complain about something or talk about something and my father would say that phrase. I would hear it once every couple of years. I have such a wonderful laugh at it now. Because I have yet to experience anything like what my father has told me that I can look forward too.

    I finally realized that he believes this bullshit that he spouts to me whenever he sees me. I cannot believe that anyone could be that way, but here it is a man who can lie to his son and smile. I guess that it is not that unusual, but I cannot believe that my father would still believe that I believe him.

    After that comes his plausible deniability. True enough he cannot know what I do not tell him, but at the same time when has he ever had to ask my brothers for information. They spill it to him even if he doesn't care. So I guess that he has no reason to ask other than to try and pry the answers out of me. God it is annoying, and when I do not give an answer he likes he glosses over it. I must be shy or something, I hate every moment of it.

    Then comes the worst, he needs to try and force his agenda on me because he thinks that I am some stupid loser who worships him. For instance last time he was home we went out and he complained about my appearance. When I shrugged him off that was the only time he showed any interest in my lack of caring. Not because he is concerned about me hell no, because I look like a loser and by comparison he looks bad. Then he and my brother have a harder time cheating on their significant others. Next he berates me because I have not bought a ski pass despite my protests to tell him that I wonder priorities. I told him I would get one if I had money after my two vacations. That is not good enough for him of course, too bad he gets to learn what it is like to have an adult for a child.

    I know that this will be hell. As I get older it is harder to keep up my facade to keep him in the dark. I wonder what will happen when he learns the truth. Not that I care, because I have given up all hope and know that nothing can fix me. Oh well, only 7 months until I move away. A long miserable 7 months.
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm not trying to defend your dad's actions just pointing out a few truths about parents as they age.

    They are in deep denial...that their children are growing up, not needing them as much, starting to move forward with their own lives and that evidently proves that they are parents, that are getting old(er). They start wondering where all those years so quickly slipped away to.

    Parents do believe that everything they say is the truth and that you unquestionably believe the same. Because if they don't, then again, you making your own decision or basing your own opinion about what they are saying, confirms that they are getting old and you don't need to depend on them for help in making decisions.

    I don't know how old your dad is. But my dad grew up in a time when kids respected their elders and parents. That the riddles they spewed out as hidden advice, was being respected as much as the person sharing such wisdom with a child. But kids were never respected as easily. You earn respect, not deserve it...my dad always said. Sort of a "do as I say, not as I do" kinda mentality.

    Also my dad comes from a cultural heritage that believes strongly in sharing folklore words of wisdom with the children as a way of carrying on the heritage. The problem with that was most of the folklore had no meaning or place in today's society.

    I too spent a lot of time and effort keeping my parents in the dark when it came to me. In reality I think it was a form of self-protection. So yeah...your dad isn't much different from the rest of them.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know why he is acting this way. Because he spent all his time cheating on his wife and pretending he was 19 instead of being a father.
  4. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You are an adult now, you have the option of not having a relationship with somebody that you have no respect for and that makes you feel worse being around him. I do not even take phone calls from my family because it is my choice not to. Why put yourself through it ?
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Because I have done that before and the results turn into stalking me which is way worse.
  6. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You are an adult now,

    I agree with NYJmpMaster. You are an adult now. You now have rights. He's stalking you...report him to the police. You tell him no more contact, that's the way you want it. He ignores what you are saying or telling him...report him to the police. You are an adult now, capable of making your own decisions and creating your own life...so do it. It's as hard and as easy as that.