I am of course talking about my father. He has decided that he is home sick and wants to come home so he can spend his last good years with his family. I guess that I can appreciate that, I really do not care to be honest. However, then he starts talking about how I am one of the reasons that he is coming back so he can help me. When I heard that I had instant deja vu. Because he said a lot of that stuff well over 15 years ago when he moved near by me before. He said the same thing to me when he moved back to this state when I was in high school. It just makes me sick to hear all this stuff over and over again. I can recall another thing that he said to me when my brother was talking about his problems. My father said "look what you get to look forward too" it was one of the funniest things that I have heard in a while. Mainly because thinking about it he has been saying that same thing to me since I was in middle school. My older brother would complain about something or talk about something and my father would say that phrase. I would hear it once every couple of years. I have such a wonderful laugh at it now. Because I have yet to experience anything like what my father has told me that I can look forward too. I finally realized that he believes this bullshit that he spouts to me whenever he sees me. I cannot believe that anyone could be that way, but here it is a man who can lie to his son and smile. I guess that it is not that unusual, but I cannot believe that my father would still believe that I believe him. After that comes his plausible deniability. True enough he cannot know what I do not tell him, but at the same time when has he ever had to ask my brothers for information. They spill it to him even if he doesn't care. So I guess that he has no reason to ask other than to try and pry the answers out of me. God it is annoying, and when I do not give an answer he likes he glosses over it. I must be shy or something, I hate every moment of it. Then comes the worst, he needs to try and force his agenda on me because he thinks that I am some stupid loser who worships him. For instance last time he was home we went out and he complained about my appearance. When I shrugged him off that was the only time he showed any interest in my lack of caring. Not because he is concerned about me hell no, because I look like a loser and by comparison he looks bad. Then he and my brother have a harder time cheating on their significant others. Next he berates me because I have not bought a ski pass despite my protests to tell him that I wonder priorities. I told him I would get one if I had money after my two vacations. That is not good enough for him of course, too bad he gets to learn what it is like to have an adult for a child. I know that this will be hell. As I get older it is harder to keep up my facade to keep him in the dark. I wonder what will happen when he learns the truth. Not that I care, because I have given up all hope and know that nothing can fix me. Oh well, only 7 months until I move away. A long miserable 7 months.