He doesn't appreciate me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by stuckinchicago6, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    My whole life I have shown an unconditional love to everybody. Even my father who repeatedly hurt me, not to mention never provided for me despite having wealth. He only cared about his new family.

    Anyway, growing up, whenever I got a boyfriend, I did everything for him I could. I've always been there. Even when the relationships were over, I always wanted to maintain friendships because I could never hate somebody I once loved and/or cared about. I have never stopped believing in love despite getting hurt so many times. I feel that love should conquer all.

    However, for my husband. I don't think he wants love. All he cares about is pride and respect. Anytime I am having a bad day or I need to discuss something, he will start to rage. He will start to tell me I'm disrespectful. In an instant, he forgets everything I have done for him. I will not get into extreme details at the moment, but I have done more for him than I ever did in any relationship. He also forgets all the happy times. He married me and he knew I was a sensitive girl, yet he can no longer respect that. If I start to cry, he sarcastically says, " Cryyyyyy!!!!!!!!". As for him constantly feeling disrespected, I fought with my own mother over him. I never let her say one bad word to him, while he allows people to treat me terribly. When we are apart, I never go out because it hurts too much, but he does. If I don't know what a man wants 100 percent, maybe it is because I never grew up with a father!! However, he also knew this about me so maybe I can't give him the type of feelings he would get from a girl who grew up with a father and an idea of how to treat a man. I just don't know. I'm so confused right now. The argument cooled down, but I'm still walking around with all these painful emotions. Maybe my past will never allow my relationship to be 100 percent healthy. Maybe I am just crazy.
     
  2. x86cam

    x86cam Member

    I am sorry, hun
     
  3. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Maybe try individual and marriage counseling?
     
  4. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Hugsssss :hugtackles:
     
  5. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    Oh he would be closed to that idea. Maybe if I go alone at first then maybe he will join me. I have mentioned going together and he did not sound interested. He even got offended.
     
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I don't think not having a father as anything to do with it...my father never really cared for me, he only cared about his new wife and step daughter....she got everything I didn't...

    sounds like your husband has a lot of rage, and feels guilty when your sad or upset...he would need to see a therapist because having all that rage can't be healthy...I guess he'd get offended because he feels directly attacked, he feels as though he's inadequate where he thinks he should be in control...its an ego thing...

    I think you going to marriage counselling alone in the beginning is a good idea, maybe the therapist can help you figure out how to get him there and to work on your relationship....

    maybe let him know how much you care about him and that you want you two to be happy together...