He haunts me..he's everywhere..make him go away..make him stop..

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Entity, Oct 26, 2009.

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  1. Entity

    Entity Well-Known Member

    Derek is everywhere..everytime someone touches me i feel him touching me and i hear his voice.. have flashbacks of things he's done to me.. everytime someone touches me :cry: make him go away.. please...
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Who is Derek, Katie?
  3. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    katie whos derek?? and i have the flashbacks and the touching problem too, ur not alone, please talk to us!! pm if u need to talk.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Aww hun :hug:

    You need to tell your counsellor about it. What did happen with derek though? I mean, I know what happened, but when your mum found out, did the situation improve/stop? :hug:
  5. Entity

    Entity Well-Known Member

    My mum told me i was ruining the family..and he hated me..he told me to go cut myself and bleed out so he could laugh at me.. derek raped me.. and it's my fault.. and i'm the one traumatized...
  6. JM18

    JM18 Active Member

    I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling and i also know that nothing we say here will make you feel better, if you just read it.

    I do not know myself, how to rid of this problem, and therefore all i can say is secondrate...

    But i think you have to talk, to let it out... if this is a scar, it may be a scar that has poison in it, which means you have to rip open the scar, talk about the problem, your feelings about it and through that rid yourself of the poison.

    I dare not say much here, in fear of not helping, but one thing i can reccomend, get things straight, figure out every single emotional bit of yourself, think of your feelings. Under that i mean, try to analyze... (this word sounds so cold, but it's the best word for what i mean) whatever feelings you have... and make sure that one feelings is not making you sad.

    I know it seemes complicated, it does even to me, but what helps me get through hard devastating problems in my life, is making sure that i wont be sad because i am sad... that you don't let one bad emotion create another one, like an endless circle, leave your sadness to the event and then try to leave the event.
  7. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    It's certainly not your fault Katie. Any rapist should be sentenced to jail for a long time. Please have yourself helped from outside your house, by professionals (like family plannings, medical centers..), and tell them also that you're not supported by your surroundings. I had to live that, somehow, not to your point, but do something now, because it'll harm you more.
  8. Scully

    Scully Well-Known Member

    I wanted to add, you'll find support here, unconditional support even. But there're moments you need someone to be there.

    Do you have someone very trusted OUTSIDE of your house? If yes, you should talk to them really, please, okay? Maybe they could help you to get professional care too (?) Okay, let us know.
  9. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    your mum? since when are you english?

    it could be so much worst. you could still live with him 24/7. i'm so glad you moved in with your dad. and i'm so glad we got rid of marissa. he's just a memory that's all he is. and one day hopefully i'll make you forget all about him.
  10. poppett

    poppett New Member

    I know how you feel, i too have these same problems- even living with my dad i find a task, because of that lack of trust.

    I really do hope you have sought help, from outside of your household, do you think maybe you could see your GP and ask to speak to a councellor? I think it may help, and i do feel you should talk to someone in real life. I'm doing this at the moment, i have a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and although it hurts to talk about it- i know i have to do it.

    Please hang in there, stay strong because you can do it. And it WILL get better. Promise. xx
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Finally found this thread, sorry for the late reply.

    It's not your fault. Who told you it was your fault?!
    Your mum just probably doesn't know how to deal with it, she could be blaming herself?

    This has gone on far too long, report him to the police, you'll have your counsellor to support you through it, even if your mum doesn't care(or at least acting like she doesn't).
  12. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    i know people have already asked this, and you may have replied to it and i just missed it, but who is Derek? And the touch problem...alot of us have it. We are here if you need to talk, hun... *hugs*

    okay, i went back and read a little bit more and saw your other post and all i can really say is... God damn. This derek person is a f*cked up human being who does not deserve to see the light of day ever ever ever again. I'm so sorry this happened to you, hun. And, remember, no matter what anyone tells you, none of this is your fault. you are not the one to blame. He is. He's the corrupt monster...not you. whether you are tramatized or not, its not your fault. *hugs* PM me anytime, hun.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2009
  13. bmxbarbie

    bmxbarbie Member

    I so understand how that feels im so sorry u had to go though that but some day it will go away im here for u!:biggrin:
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