he is tearing me apart n i just take it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LilithsGhost, Feb 24, 2011.

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  1. LilithsGhost

    LilithsGhost Member

    I am dating a serial cheater and compulsive liar. He talks about me behind my back and doesn't tell the facts but twist and manipulates details to make people feel sorry for him and to get attention. There is a situation now evolving. Is there anyone who c=has dated someone like this. A attention seeker and manipulator. I really need to talk with someone. i need someone to talk some sense in me. I need advice. its hard to see things about the situation when your the one in it so some outside advice would help. I will explain and you tell me your take on things. I have no where eles to live at the moment...


    I was abused as child n treated rough growing up in foster care n with real family..maybe this is why i put up with it . BUT MY REAL QUESTION IS WHY IS HE DOING THIS. WHY TELL ME HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME AND THE SAME DAY TELL HE FRIENDS HE CAN'T STAND ME..



    e went on a blind date and the rest is history. He from the start has been very disloyal and manipulative. He has profiles on sex sites like: XXXMatch.com and Fling.com. He has been relying to the ladies since the start of our relationship. He told me he didn't know how to take down his profile then another time that he had but got caught. His emails and membership sites sign in automatically so after the first few time he lied to me I started checking them. One time he sent these girls emails on xxxmatch.com saying he was in Italy and thats why he couldn't repsond sooner( when really he I was home alot so it made it harder to to do). He told them "its beautiful in Malian this time of year" ( Lololol ). I remember thinking really..? What a joke last time I checked all this week you were here with me in us lol. Another lady from that site he emailed saying that when she found the time and a hotel he would fly half way across the country just to go and sleep with her. That was so hurtful because i don't think he is attracted to me and is willing to travel half way across the country just to sleep with her. its like a slap in the face. I mean i though to myself he really hates me and thinks I look so bad he is willing to fly half way across the country to have sex with this girl. And you know what the worst part is Recently he said he wanted to marry me. He talks bad about me behind my back to his best friends and distorts facts and adds his own twist. Always making himself seem like some martyr or saint for dealing with me. He doesn't know I read some of hie recent email to friends. I did leave him he spent almost 500 to arrange my plane ticket back here. He begged me to come back and siad he missed me like hell and wanted to get married that he saw this for us and I was teh one. The first day I cam back he was already back on porn sites and the third day I found recent e-mails to friends and some older ones. One of them tells his best friend Mike and his wife he begged me not come back ( WHAT THE HELL ). Is this why he begged me to come back and even covered the expensive cost . There were problems along the way with the airline and ect ect . He went through all of that and spent a lot of money to get me back here because according to him " he missed me and wanted me bac and even put marriage on the table". Hoe can one person act like this. I don't understand. Some of the bad stuff he says about me to friends is because I have confronted hm about his disloyalty to me and he denies it. You could catch him in the act and still he would deny it. There is something wrong with him. I mean He tells his friends am just crazy and that so stressful because he is innocent and is in love with me and doesn't understand why i am putting him through so much ect. There were times I seen recent emails between him and his ladies friend and a few times girls called and he didn't look at the number first and just answered and acted like they had the wrong number hanging up with the girls still saying "hey wait this is the right ". So when I have proof like emails on one of his sites of a meet up ect ... He just denies it and gets mad at me for evading his emails ect. So basically am crazy and i don't know what i SAW HEARD OR THE LATE NIGHTS OR ECT ECT. So he complines to his friends who have no clue whats going besides what he tells them thinking am stressing there porr old friend out and that am a drama queen and ect. I never even yell at him i am a calm person but i don't like being lied to. To me it just seems like he likes attention and he uses me as a scapegoat. So I have to suffer dealing with his lies and cheating and be silent about it and be crucified by mouth/reputation by him. So get gets attention and a girl to dominate. I need to leave this is ruining my self esteem and starting to effect my health. i can't stand him. Sometimes he says and does things that i think he intentionally trying to hurt my feelings or bring me down.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    you seemed to answer all your own queations with this post hun. he is a manipulative control freak. you dont need this. it will only get worse i know i was married to a man like this. it could get very abusive. he thinks only o fhimself. you deserve better so walk awy. ther are women shelters you can stay at until you find somewhere else to live. please sdont stay he is bad news.
     
  3. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    so. either you sit him down and just tell him all. or just leave. its probably hard, but there are so many nice guys out there
     
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Like you said, it's simply because you put up with it.

    Those personalities are drawn to those they think they can use easily. Generally when you stop putting up with the shit they get frustrated and move on to something else.
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    don't let yourself be used like this. i had an ex that behaved in a similar way and it never ends well. walk away. if you can't walk away consider getting counselling to build up some self confidence. you deserve better.
     
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