I feel like I'm the only one of us who actually cares about our relationship. In the beginning I felt like we had so much in common and lately I feel like I'm all wrong for him. He makes me feel sad and uncared about. It's like he doesn't even care to try not to hurt my feelings most of the time. But yet he claims to love me and not be able to live without me. It has to just be attachment on his part because if he loved me, I'd think he'd treat me better. It just makes no sense. I want to die. There's nothing worth staying alive for except my mom, but that being the only reason, I just don't want to deal with this. When this stupid relationship ends just like all the rest, I'm going to be so miserable that I'm going to want to crawl up the freaking walls. I dread that so much. The non-stop crying and feeling like shit during the day, and then not being able to sleep without having nightmares and panic attacks. I don't want it to get to that point. I want to die before it does. I even have a method and all, but I'm such a fucking coward that I can't do it unless I'm miserable first. If anyone responds, I just ask that they don't tell me I'll find someone else because I don't care to and even if I did, it would end up how it always does anyway.