He never leaves.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CamillaR, Apr 1, 2010.

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  1. CamillaR

    CamillaR Active Member

    I have had my ups and downs over the last couple of years. My mood has been changing more than Fede Finn og Funnyboys have been sucking but I feel like this is the end of the road for me. I have reached a point where I feel like the ups have been killed, slaughtered, murdered by the downs. During the nights, the memory of being raped haunts me in my dreams and during the day, the memory and thought of my best friend, who's no longer with us, barely ever leaves my mind. My fathers words as he beats me makes my heart break every time. "I wish you were never born." I am fighting to not SH, but I don't even know why and.. I'm just so tired. I'm so tired and I'm so close to finding all the God damn pills in this house and ending it all with those, a bottle of vodka and my razor. I need to. I dont think, I can go on. :sad:

    I dont know why I named the thread this. It was the thought of my dead friend, I suppose.
     
  2. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    i'm so sorry life has handed you so much pain. i wish there was something i could say to help :console: please hang in there, keep talking to us here. let us try and help. we know what its like to want to give into your feelings and SH. give us a chance to try and help you get through this :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You were his victim once don't be his victim again don't let him win become the surivivor you are okay. You have gone thru the hell now you are safe now you need to heal. Keep talking get help to take the pain away and win okay don't give him anymore power not ever again
     
  4. CamillaR

    CamillaR Active Member

    I am not strong enough to win.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i thought so too but i am still here still fighting if you need help then we are here to help you fight reach out to others your doctor crisis lots of people to help you win okay I know how tiring it can get i am there with you but hang on okay we are here keep posting and talking to us as we truly understand. Pm anytime okay :console:
     
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