he told me to!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shauna Lea, Jun 23, 2007.

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  1. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    its bad enough that i am suicidal myself, but when someone i love wit all my heart tells me they hate me, never want 2 see me again and tells me to kill myself...wat choice do i have? he told me to do it and im so sorry but his wish is my command!!!! its over 2nite!
     
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    Hun dont do it please, maybe he was just mad and he didn't mean it. :hug: I'm here if you want to talk hun
     
  3. WARTORIOUS

    WARTORIOUS Member

    ahhhh what would you achieve by doing this? if you are close to doing something bad why not live like theres no tomorrow? why not have a fantastic time? what do you have to loose?

    Life is wonderful and if you like I can show you why. Everyone fights but they never really mean what they say. come chat on the chat room :)

    come round my house if you want. you would be welcome if your feeling down :)

    Everyone has problems but things always seem better in the morning.
     
  4. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    It IS the morning here! i planned on foing it last nite but my parents figured it out...so 2nite is hopefully the nite. i kno he was just angry n might not have meant it, but its not easy hearing somebody say yes u should go and hang urself. i cant live if he doesnt want me 2!
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Why are you letting him have such control over you? Just because he said that does not mean you have to follow through. Shauna you have a life to live with many exciting moments and adventures left. Do not let him ruin it for you. It is not his decision to make. As a matter of fact, I would do the opposite of what he says just to spite him and prove to him that I could. Take care shauna. :hug:
     
  6. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I wish I had something valuable to say, but I probably don't. I guess I mainly am replying, since I wouldn't want to be ignored, if I was going to do it, or seriously considered it.

    I'm deeply sorry for your situation... I wish there was something I could say, to make things better, but that's kind of improbable. Knowing how I would be in your situation, I'm not the best person to ask for positive feedback. However, if this is the only thing making you consider it, it's probably not a good idea, since, as said, he may not have meant it... people can often say cruel things, even to those they love.
     
  7. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    no matter how angry he was, u still dont just say things like that to someone! and im not just doing it because he told me to, i want to as well and finally someone is backing me up on it. i want to spend my last day wit my best friends and then hopefuly 2nite is the end..this is the only way he will ever believe how much pain i am in. ive told him i will do it and i have to do it to prove that im not jus attention seeking. this isnt a rash decision, ive slept on it and woke up feeling the same. im so scared and dont want to, but there is no other way out. he needs to live in a world without me and thats what he will have.
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Shauna, just listen to yourself. You say you don't want to and you are scared. You say you are not doing this because of him. then why do you have to prove it to him? There is a way out. you hold the key. There is nothing to prove. Your post contradicts itself all over the place, telling me that you really don't want to do this. You think you have to. You don't have to, believe me. It takes more guts for you to stick around and fight than it does to leave. If you need to prove something to someone, prove to yourself that you are a fighter, not a quitter. Prove to yourself that the opinions of someone saying you should are not valid. No, he shouldn't have said that, but he did. How you decide to handle it is what makes the difference. Have you never said something to someone that you later realized you really didn't mean. i think most of us have said things we regret later. You are too good a person to listen to junk like that. Please Shauna, don't harm yourself.
     
  9. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    You're right; you don't just say something like that.

    <mod edit- gentlelady- not supportive>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 26, 2007
  10. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    I know im contradicting myself! i'm so confused! i dont know what i ever did so wrong to b in this position. everything i do is for other people, im a good person so y does anyone have to right to hurt me? its not fair!...and if this is what my life is going to b like then i dont wanna take part. i dont deserve one more day of pain...im doing this for me, he is just encouraging me! He probably will regret saying it and im glad that he will. i hope he regrets every single time he has hurt me. the note i have left says that he told me to do with it, he said he didnt care if everyone knew that, but we will see how re reacts...hes gonna hurt just like i have and thats fair! I do see where ur comin from, but i just feel like im backed into a corner. I cant b happy and i dont wanna live in pain. i dont wanna die but i cant live. so ive made the choice that this isnt worth it n e more. Ive given it time, tried everything, but its never enough!
     
  11. Bud Leaf

    Bud Leaf Member

    Woah woah woah hold the phone here everybody, please listen to me and know im telling you the truth, there is no way he would get any satisfaction out of you killing yourself, his regret of saying such a thing could possably even lead to the same decision you made after ending your life, I do not believe no matter how ear defening he shouted for you to kill yourself, that he would truly mean that, a life ending is not a satisfacory feeling unless you are clinically insane and enjoy killing people, please just try your hardest to forget what he said, forget him, he didnt mean it for real, no one could, laugh at the fact he said that, because he is pathetic im sorry to by rude or too blunt but you would be making an extremely rash decision ending your life, your much stronger the a boys words remember that, today your gunna start smiling try to say hi to everyone you walk by maybe listen to some music, i know some of the best around YouTube Andy Mckee songs such as Rylynn you'll love it i promise, your a tough girl inside remember that, you did come here first right :wink: taker easy and gimme a message anytime to follow up id like to know you heard from me, i hope my post can only be a positive for you Shauna :smile:
     
  12. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    u cant stop me now. ive given all my things away, written letters, taken all mony out of my bank...i cant turn bac
     
  13. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You can always turn back. Destroy the letters and realize that the effect you think this will have will probably not come to fruition. An ass like that will probably just think to himself, "Well, she was nuts anyway." This will NOT have the desired effect. Live your life! People go through things like this and they are the better and happier for it. One day you will thank God that you did not let him ruin your life. People will be hurt, lives will be ruined by your death, and not his life, because he's a dick, but the lives of the people who really care about you.
     
  14. Bud Leaf

    Bud Leaf Member

    No one can stop you and never could, only yourself, im typing back as fast as I can if your still here reading, it is the ultimate decision that you will regret, without you in this world, your children, your childrens children, it would have such a major affect on 1000s of lives you dont even know of yet, or dont even exist yet, the picture here is so much larger then what you are seeing, if you feel like you need to end it now, then why not just got out and try somehting amazing that you would never do, go up to a cute guy grab him buy his jacket collar and lay a fat one right on his lips who knows maybe he'll be your next boyfriend and one that actually cares for you,
     
  15. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Can you please answer your phone :nerves: I am so fucking worried. Please Shauna im begging you not to do this. Dont do it PLEASE. God I feel helpless.
    Shauna its not too late. Its never too late :sad:
     
  16. Shauna Lea

    Shauna Lea Staff Alumni

    Dnt cry matty, im still here for a few hours :smile:

    I just dropped $3000 cash off at blakes house, nand gave him my ring, and some photos to remember me by....just finishing up some things so im online if u need to talk
     
  17. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    NO Shauna jesus. This is insane, you cant do this. You have everything in front of you, you just need to pull back from this NOW, please. What about your parents? the rest of your family? all your friends? even me? does that factor into this at all. I just have to get you to see that your life is worthing living for.
     
  18. Jacob91

    Jacob91 Member

    I must apologize for being so outspoken and utterly factual, but the degree you value your life is pathetic. No one person can tell you to kill yourself, and you take it seriously, that is a big button you flaunt and show, and we all know it's not wise to have buttons to push in a world of button pushers, so much control.

    If he really is your life you must feel that this is just a learning experience.

    What makes you love him, that is my question.
     
  19. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    ... :/
     
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