He took advantage because I was in love. Whenever I post on SF I catch myself trying to hide things but I don't want to hide anything because it stays in my head and I can't get it out. I was sexually abused when I was in elementary school by an older friend I had. When I got to middle school guys would sneak behind their friends backs to talk to me. They were very sweet but not in public. I remember a time in my 7th grade math class where this boy called me so I listened and he said all the things he wanted to do to me and that scared me, I started crying in class. I met a boy and we'd talk in history class since we sat together and he was so sweet he always said he loved me but again never in public only over text. I was very sexualized. I thought I loved this boy. In high school I always drank too much and never remembered my sexual encounters with men. I was at a party and someone slipped something in my drink. All i know is that I was with 3 guys that night. When I was 15 I lost my virginity to my cheerleading teams coach assistant. He invited me to a party and I went. He carried me into the room and it happened. This makes me so sad. I transferred schools and my ex who hadn't seen me since I moved schools wanted to hang out so we did. We went to the roof of my new school and we had sex. After that it was dark and he walked home and i stayed outside waiting for my dad to pick me up. I'll never forget how I felt that night after I had just given this guy my love. I was so lonely. It hurts so much. I met a guy and I thought he was different. He wasn't much different because he got me drunk the first night and had sex with me. I don't remember but I woke up naked next to him. Despite that I stayed and we saw each other for months after that. But things weren't changing and he would sneak me out of his house when his mom was over. He didn't even let me follow him on any social media. He'd use my past reputation as an insult to me a lot. He'd try telling me what to do and i did it. I did it. I was so stupid. We got into a fight and I felt scared of him. I was almost always drunk when we were together. He said that he wouldn't want to hurt me but since he was always around girls that he might cheat on me. And I'm so stupid I should have not stayed with him. Because now I'm broken and all the things he said and did to me stayed inside. The point is that guys love me until I want to be included in their life untilI want to meet their friends or be introduced to their family. I'm a human and I deserve to be treated nice. I'm just so sad that this is the story I have so far to leave.