i spent my past year living in the czech republic as an exchange student and i returned home in july. while i was abroad, i met the most amazing guy in world, miklos. we had this connection, and he quickly became my friend. over the course of the year, we grew to love and trust each other like no other. in may, miklos shot himself after deciding that he couldn't deal with his depression (which i never, ever suspected he had). he wrote suicide notes to me and his mother, explaining that he loved us and didn't deserve anything we'd done for him. i'm a complete wreck without him. miklos was my best friend and i don't know what i'm going to do without him in my life. please help me. do these feelings ever go away? i feel like i'm going crazy without him. and i'm struggling with faith; i used to be a strong christian, but now i find myself asking "if god loved me, why would he let this happen?" please, send me your support; i can't do this alone.