He was my favorite cousin. WAS.

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Theowin, May 1, 2013.

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  1. Theowin

    Theowin Active Member

    When I was in fifth grade my cousin molested me. He was staying the night at my house. We slept down stairs on the couches and before we went to sleep we were on the same couch talking. He's older than me by six years but he's the closet to my age so naturally he was my favorite cousin. WAS. He put his fingers between my legs. He told me not to wake my parents, he was right, they'd be mad. He shushed me. "Be quiet," he kept saying. I should have fucking screamed...

    I never told anyone. I never told my parents. You are the first to know.
     
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow I am so sorry this happened to you. It is the worse when someone we love betrays us and abuse us...*hugs* I wish there was something I could say that would help...

    you haven't told a friend? Do you want to tell your parents? Are you afraid to tell them?
     
  3. Theowin

    Theowin Active Member

    I am terrified to tell them. He's my cousin, they like him. They wouldn't know how to handle it.
     
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    but maybe they do. He needs to be punished for what he did and to prevent him from doing that to others. And you'd get support...do you have a counsellor at your school? maybe you could confide to them, it's confidential and they could help you figure safe ways to tell your parents, or just to support you, give you alternative help....

    I hope you don't see him again...if you're parents knew maybe then you wouldn't have to suffer or see him again?
     
  5. Theowin

    Theowin Active Member

    The coucilors at school never did anything but I'm not in school anymore anyways. There is no evidence to hold against him, it was so many years ago.
     
  6. Hope2013

    Hope2013 New Member

    My heart goes out to you, I understand your pain having been abused when I was 13 and not telling anyone for years. What you said about how you should have screamed, please remember that he was totally at fault and that at the time you would have been scared. When children are told 'don't tell, don't a noise' then they don't. It's hindsight that's making you look back and think 'what could I have changed, how could I have stopped it'. But at the time you were trying to survive the horrific thing being done and it's important to hold on to that.

    It's really brave of you to have said it now, it's better shared rather than locked inside. Is there anyone you can tell - a friend, a relative you're close to, your doctor? Starting with someone 'safe' may help for now, the important thing is to start talking to someone.

    Take good care of yourself.
     
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