This happened to me two years ago and I have only just acknowledged it happened. We grew up together, we ruthlessly loyal to each other, we made some good memories - all I have to try to forget because of what he did to me that night. We got drunk together loads of times and nothing happend. Except that night. We had to leave the pub and ended up getting drunk in the park "like when we were kids" it was nothing like that as I woke up from passing out drunk to find him having sex with me. I was so drunk I couldn't do much about it and when I started realising what was happening I tried to get up and he knocked me down. I tried to convince myself for years it was just drunken stupidity on my part....that I had consented...so why did he hit me then? Why use force if it was consensual?? I had just come off of prozac and when I confronted him about the incident he told me I had imagined the whole thing as I "wasn't on medication" - he played the mental illness card. Prozac withdrawl does not cause hallucinations I looked into it. I saw him and his mother in town after that - he looked scared. He knew I wanted to tell her. Two years later and I finally ackowledge what happened to me. He was supposed to be my best friend this wasn't supposed to happen. People know something bad must have happened as we went from being insepearable to hating each other all of a sudden. How do you go from being childhood best friends to wanting to kill each other, they asked me. I miss who he used to be but I know he's gone. The old Finn never could have done this to me. And now...I just don't know where to go from here.