He Won

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by canucklady, Mar 17, 2007.

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  1. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

    he won, he said if he couldn't be with me, he would make sure no else would be with me. i left him after many years. now i cant trust any man. i can be intimate with any man. i broke up with my current bf because of this. would get so triggered when he got angry or try to get close to me. i broke his heart when i left him. the worse thing is i love him, but my mind and body would not let him get close. so had to leave. was hard to explain to him all the time why i was shaking or get scared over argument.
    he won
    i give up
    i will be alone forever
     
  2. MrDepressed

    MrDepressed Guest

    I am very sorry to hear that this has all happened this way for you..
     
  3. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are feeling like this, he may have won at the moment but you have it within you to stop him continuing to win.
    It takes a long time to get over living with an abusive partner, its sounds as if you and your boyfriend love each other very much, have you talked to him about why you react as you do?
    Have you considered both of you going to counseling together? Please keep working on your feelings and your relationship.
    The war is NOT over yet, and YOU can win!!

    :hug: Hazel xx
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Oh hun, he only wins if you let him, and you won't. He may have this round, but you will be the victor in the end. You have already won one battle. You have freed yourself from his reign. You no longer have to live with the abusive he handed out.. Give yourself time to heal hun. It does not happen overnight. Maybe your bf can understand this and show patience with you. He can help you to work things through. You do not have to stay alone forever because of him. That is a choice you will make on your own, when the time is right. Grieve hun. For what you lost, for what might have been, but rejoice in what is yet to be. You can rise to the top and live the way you choose to. Faith in you is what you need. :hug:
     
  5. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    You're WAY too strong of a person to let him win. I'm begging you to use that hurt and pain and anger to motivate you to proving to yourself that he did NOT win. That he CANNOT win b/c you won't continue to give him that power. If you were happy with your ex and he treated you like the princess you are then please don't let that past jerk take that happiness away from you. Please.
     
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