Heading down quickly :( Triggering- self harm, domestic violence and suicide

I'm quite a new member, but in a nut shell:
-I'm a qualified teacher
-I was abused as a child at the age of 6-8.
-I was abused as an adult by my ex; sexually, verbally, emotionally and physically.
-I've self harmed for 5 years, been free for 4 months, except one small cut.

Life is still giving me a beating, and I don't know how much more I can take.

I almost look up to a friend, who committed suicide last year. How wrong is that?!!

I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm on meds, and have had 4 lots of counselling. Never hospitalised. I just want everything to go away.

 

sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time

how is life still giving you a beating?

is it mostly that you are dealing with the after-effects of abuse, or is it that you have other sources of stress that are adding to your problems?

learning a meditation practice might be good for you.

getting exercise and eating well can help

are you teaching now?

I wonder if you could get disability benefits and maybe just teach a few hours a week

I hope that things can get better for you!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

Hun maybe it time to go to hospital for awhile somewhere you can feel safe and cared for You deserve that okay call crisis line go to hospital and get some help for you

 

Money is very, very hard at the mo. My partner has a health condition, which is meaning that he is struggling to stay at work= less money. I'm not teaching at the mo, I'm a nursery nurse at present, so money is naff.

The abuse won't leave me alone. I can't seem to escape it.

Funnily enough, I have a meditation book, but I haven't read it. So I shall have a look this afternoon. I need to get exercise, but I'm finding it hard to get motivated. Thankyou for your advice, I really appreciate it

 

I have thought about checking myself in, but if I do, then I won't get paid at work, and I'll lose my flat. I don't feel safe at the mo, and I'm not caring for myself. I know you're right, as soon as I can, I will check myself in. Thankyou